Thursday, November 26, 2009

Happy Thanksgiving!

This year, I am thankful for:
My family, even though I can't be with them
My new friends here at Palmer
My friends and YWAM family from Brazil
Skype, email, facebook, and internet in general which makes keeping in touch across continents possible and easy
God's creativity and faithfulness even when we can't anticipate or understand all that He is doing
The opportunity to study here at Palmer and be fed in my passion and vision for holistic ministry and Missio Dei
The chance to work with and study under Ron Sider and other like-minded professors
My Sider and Wilberforce scholarships, which cover almost all of my tuition
My subsidized loans which cover the rest
Health insurance, even if I have to pay for it by taking out loans
Having a President in office who is actually trying to do something to start to change our country's biggest problems
Coffee and the coffee-maker my friend is letting me borrow so I can make my own now, and even more for my friend who let me borrow it
People who love God in a way that is evident, radiating, encouraging, and contagious
People who are courageous enough to trust God with everything, even if that means sacrificing their comfortable and "secure" American life
God's heart and character and that He desires to reveal Himself to us
The freedom that comes from being in the center of God's will regardless of what circumstances are

Sunday, October 18, 2009

Por qué que eu saí do base

Eu sei que minha saída não foi bem avisada no base afora da Luzeiro, então como tem pessoas perguntando por qué que eu fui embora, eu traduzi parte da minha carta informativa de Julho deste ano para português. Então aqui tem a explicação oficial, que com certeza não é a explicação completa, mas é a explicação principal. Eu sei que meu português não é perfeito (e está piorando mais com cada dia que eu não falo) mas espero que dé para entender. Sente-se livre de me perguntar sobre qualquer dúvida. Não mais sou JOCUMeira mas ainda acredito no valor de transparência. ;) Beijos e saudades pessoal do base!

Uma mudança radical nos meus planos

Dois meses atrás, nunca teria imaginado que me encontraria onde estou hoje. Sabia que Deus me chamou vir para Casa Luzeiro, e eu antecipei ficar por pelo menos dois anos. Contudo, através de uma sequência de eventos, oportunidades, re-direcções, Deus tem confirmado que já chegou o tempo de tomar outros passos em busca do chamado que Ele tem mostrado que Ele tem para mim. Espero que através de compartilhar com vocês a história de como Ele tem estado me guiando nessa nova direcção que vocês, meus amigos, minha família, e meus sustentadores, possam entender por qué meus planos mudaram de repente.

Em Maio, assisti um treinamento de duas semanas para administradores para me equipar para o trabalho com a contabilidade da Luzeiro. No primeiro dia de treinamento, o professor falou sobre a Parábola dos Talentos e nós desafiou para não só pensar sobre aquilo em relação ao dinheiro, mas em relação a como estamos investindo e usando os dons e os talentos que Deus tem nós dado. Reflecti muito sobre isso nos dias seguintes. Fiz uma lista no meu caderno de todos os dons, talentos, e habilidades que tenho que eu não estava usando ou não estava realizando plenamente. Ao lado desta lista, fiz outra lista de todas as coisas que eu podia mudar ou fazer de uma maneira diferente para que esses dons fossem mais realizados. No entanto, houve algumas coisas que sobressaíram que não podiam ser completamente realizadas aqui – coisas que começaram me lembrar de e me levar de volta para o chamado maior que Deus já tinha estado me mostrando para minha vida.

Quando cheguei no Brasil pela primeira vez, durante meu tempo trabalhando como voluntária antes de começar a ETED, Deus começou falar comigo muito em relação a meu chamado maior como profeta. No Antigo Testamento, as profetas funcionaram como a portavoz de Deus e como a portavoz das pessoas marginalizadas, as quais de outra forma não teriam tido uma voz própria. Deus me mostrou que Ele queria que eu fosse esse tipo de portavoz, para falar e criar consciência na igreja em relação às questões de justiça social para mobilizar a igreja para acção. Ele também me mostrou que Ele queria que eu usasse meu talento de escrever como um meio de realizar isso, para alcançar qualquer público que eu podia.

Alguns dias depois durante o semanário de administradores, alguém distribuiu algumas informações sobre uma conferência que ia acontecer no Rio sobre questões de justiça social. Eu estava empolgada quando vi o nome do palestraste – Ron Sider. Eu tinha assistido uma presentação dele em Portland e estava lendo seu livro, Cristãos Ricos num Tempo de Fome, e ele era um dos meus heróis. No meio da minha empolgação sobre a conferência, eu pensei, Ron Sider é professor em alguma universidade – não seria interessante estudar debaixo dele? Busquei algumas informações no internet e aprendi que ele e professor no Palmer Theological Seminary em Pennsylvania. Também descobri que cada ano tem bolsas que incluem, além de dinheiro para estudar, a oportunidade de trabalhar no Sider Center on Public Policy e ser mentorado por Ron Sider. Além de tudo isso, aprendi que não era tarde demais para candidatar-se para esse ano.

Começei orar muito sobre essa oportunidade, e senti que eu deveria começar o processo de solicitação porque eu podia decidir depois. Originalmente, eu queria candidatar para começar no Fevereiro 2010, para poder terminar o ano com as meninas do meu grupo. Mas depois descobri duas coisas: 1) bolsas, incluindo a bolsa que envolve ser mentorado por Ron Sider, somente estão disponíveis para alunos que começam no Setembro, e 2) meu co-líder tinha decidido voltar para a Holanda no Setembro. Reuni com meus lideres do Luzeiro para conversar sobre a possibilidade de voltar para estudar, e a minha surpresa, eles me apoiaram e me encorajaram nisso. Meu líder também sugeriu que aún se eu ficasse até o final do ano, ainda deveria cancelar meu grupo, como grupos sempre tem dois lideres e é fortemente avisado não tentar liderar um grupo sozinho. Em resposta a esses factores, decidi mudar minha solicitação para Setembro desse ano.

O último mês tem sido um tempo de esperar para mim. Tem sido difícil num mundo de “se”, não sabendo se meu tempo na Luzeiro está chegando ao fim ou se está apenas começando. Contudo, tem sido um ótimo para eu buscar a Deus, e no meio de incerteza, tenho sido capaz de descansar na confiança que Ele sabe os planos que Ele tem para mim. Eu tinha feito minha parte em completar os materiais de solicitação e os ensaios, e agora tudo estava nas Suas mãos. Se Ele queria que eu fosse, Ele podia abrir essa porta para mim. Também cheguei ao ponto onde eu tinha paz sobre qualquer possibilidade. Parte de mim gosta muito daqui e sinto tão em casa aqui que eu teria sido perfeitamente contenta ficando mais um ano (ou mais). Mas a outra parte de mim sabia a direcção onde Deus estava me chamando, e também sabia que não seria algo melhor para me preparar por isso do que essa oportunidade de estudar com Ron Sider, se eu fosse receber a bolsa se ser mentorada por ele.

Minha incerteza chegou ao fim essa semana passada quando recebi um email dizendo que eu ganhei não apenas uma bolsa, mas duas bolsas – uma que pagava a metade da tuição e incluía trabalhando no Sider Center e sendo mentorado por Ron Sider, e a outra que pagava mais $4000 USD por ano, reduzindo minha tuição a apenas $1000 USD por ano! Ao ler esse email, não sabia se deveria saltar e gritar de alegria ou se deveria chorar porque isso queria dizer saindo do meu novo hogar (eu fiz ambos). Enquanto esperei essa decisão, tinha confiança que se Deus queria que eu tomasse esse passo, Ele abriria a porta, e se Ele abrisse a porta, eu entraria. Nunca imaginei ganhar duas bolsas – mas isto foi mais confirmação que eu tinha esperado. Aceitei o convite e vou voltar para Portland o dia 12 de Ag0sto antes de viajar para Filadélfia no final de Agosto.

A quarta onda

Compartilhei essas noticias com o equipe do Luzeiro sexta-feira passada. Foi bem recebido, não porque as pessoas queiram que eu vá embora (pelo menos espero que não!), mas porque elas também podem ver e entender a direcção onde Deus está me levando. Alguns missionários conversaram comigo depois de meu aviso para me encorajar que a direcção em que Deus está me guiando tem muito que ver com a quarta onda de missões, um tema muito popular na JOCUM e em nosso base.

A quarta onda basicamente envolve estendendo nossa influencia cristã até todos os sectores da sociedade e vivendo nossa fé de uma maneira que traz transformação social. As sete áreas de influência nas quais JOCUM em foca são educação/o mundo académico, a política, a ciência/tecnologia, a igreja, famílias, a media, e as artes. A ideia é que Deus está chamando cristãos para entrar nestas áreas, para exercer sua influência no mundo chamado secular. O evangélio não deve trazer transformação somente no nível individual, mas também no nível da sociedade.

Enquanto eu estou saindo de missões no exterior no presente, não estou saindo do campo missionário. Deus está me chamando para as linhas de frente da quarta onda. Não sei exactamente onde Deus vai me levar no futuro, mas eu sinto que esse programa de dois anos de Mestrado em Estudos Teológicos e Política Pública vai ajudar equipar-me melhor para ter esse tipo de influência através de me dar a oportunidade de crescer em conhecimento e me capacitar para ampliar minha voz. Neste momento, eu acho que vou fazer doutorado em sociologia de uma universidade prestigiosa secular depois de terminar meu mestrado, para ampliar mais meu conhecimento, influência, e voz no mundo académico e na igreja, para falar sobre questões sociais e chamar cristãos para acção.

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Saudades

Sinto falta de:

açaí
abraços
o amarelinho
o pessoal da Luzeiro!
Lady
Rambo também
o pão da Ivanete
Tres Corações
os cultos da JOCUM
intercessão
morar em comunidade
bife
pão de queijo
Canasta
louvores em português
falar em português
ouvir holandês (e tentar entender)
CRIANÇAS!!! (não tem por aqui)
o sol
Cafezál
as meninas do meu grupo
brasileiros
inglês europeo
comer com outras pessoas
ter amigos por perto
toque físico
meditar na churrascaria
asistir filmes num notebook com tres ou quatro pessoas numa cama
holandeses
ingleses
australianos
lanches
dinheiro

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Food for thought

When I was in high school, a teacher of mine asked me a question that I haven't forgotten since, nor have I formulated a definitive answer to, but some of my classes yesterday caused me to reflect on it some more. So I'd like to post the question and hear other thoughts on it before posting my own.

I don't remember exactly how he phrased it, but it was more or less:

Is a believer who is well-studied and familiar with the original languages as well as the social and historical context of the Bible more capable of understanding the Bible than, say an eskimo believer out in the middle of nowhere who has no access to that sort of information but only has a Bible?

Another slightly different but related question would be:

Is one of those two people more capable of knowing God through reading the Bible or hearing God speak through reading the Bible?

I would love to hear your thoughts in regards to these questions or anything related or in between!

Sunday, September 6, 2009

Meu começo na Filadélfia

E aí povo de Deus que fala português!

Agora que estou nos Estados Unidos escrevendo sobre minhas experiencias aqui, eu pensei, por que que eu não escrevo em português de vez em quando para que:
1) os brasileiros possam entender se eles quiserem frequentar meu blog
2) eu não esqueça o português
3) eu possa expressar alguns pensamentos, sentimentos, ideias, etc. que eu não quero que tudo mundo entenda, ou pelo menos que eu sinto mais comfortável compartilhando com as pessoas que eu conheço que falam português, sendo brasileiros ou não!

Cheguei na Filadélfia faz uma semana e estou morando interno no semanário...para clarificar, aqui o semanário é sempre um programa de mestrado ou doutorado, algo que você faz depois da faculdade, então tem pessoas aqui de varias edades, alunos solteiros, casados, e com filhos, a maioria não moram interno mas alguns sim. É um pouco como JOCUM, morando em comunidade, só que temos uma cozinha para cada seis pessoas! Mas infelizmente não temos cozinheira. :( Saudades da Ivanete!

Tem muita diversidade aqui, eu acho que eu sou a única pessoa branca no meu andar, ou pelo menos ainda não conheci outra. É diferente estando aqui em meu próprio país porque a questão de raça é bem diferente do que no Brasil. Brasileiros são uma mistura de raças africanas, indígenas, e europeas, não tem simplesmente negro e branco. Se eu tivesse que classificar as meninas de meu grupo por exemplo como negra ou branca, eu não conseguiría. Não quer dizer que eu era cega a cor do pele, claro que tinha diferença notável entre a maioria das pessoas que frequentam Pátio Savassi e a maioria das pessoas da favela, que tem raízes numa história de desigualdade. Mas é tão estranho entrar no meu próprio país com essa segregação de raça, onde as pessoas são classificadas como negra ou branca, com a regra de uma gota (uma gota de sangue negra quer dizer que a pessoa é negra), e onde as pessoas negras e as pessoas brancas quase tem suas próprias culturas, suas próprias igrejas, e seus próprios bairros.

Palmer é o semanário mais diverso no país, e para mim está sendo muito bom conhecer e relacionar com pessoas negras ou americanas africanas como se fala em inglês. Hoje eu fui para igreja com minha companheira de quarto. Quando ela me convidou eu nem pensei sobre que sería uma igreja africana-americana ou não, mas faz sentido porque ela é africana-americana. A partir de ser uma de três pessoas brancas presentes, senti muito bem-vinda, e gostei demais do louvor de da pregação, e o culto me lembrou um pouco do Brasil porque foi carasmático e demorou três horas!

Quando estava meditando ontém de ontém, Deus falou comigo que Ele me trouxe aqui para superar a imagem do opressor de está dentro de mim. Todos são criados/educados pela sociedade nesta imagem e eu acho que só a experiencia que nega as coisas que fomos ensinados pode nos ajudar a superá-la. Foi facil para mim ir ao Brasil e trabalhar com as pessoas da favela, e analizar como a igreja no Brasil é tão ignorante com respeito às problemas sociais e pensar que a maioria dos cristãos ricos preferem morar na ignorança do que tentar realmente ajudar e conhecer as pessoas marginalizadas. Sempre é mais dificil analizar o problema quando isso quer dizer que você precisa reconhecer que você é parte do problema, que você é um produto da mesma sociedade e você tem alguns dos mesmos preconceitos querendo ou não. E daí você não pode pregar o ensinar sobre a justiça social sem primeiro mudar você mesmo. Então eu acho e espero que Deus está me mudando desse jeito durante meu tempo aqui!

Saturday, September 5, 2009

I'm in Philly!

Tomorrow marks one week since I arrived in Philadelphia!

I had a great time seeing the historic stuff in the city center with my mom. It is kind of exciting and inspiring to be in a city where much of our nation's history was shaped.

I was in a temporary dorm room while my permanent room was being refinished, and now have just finished moving in! It's an old building with beautiful hardwood floors and there's even a fireplace in my room...though we can't use it.

It's easy to get to the city via public transit but EXPENSIVE!!! The part of town I am in is so spread out that the nearest grocery store is a 1.5 mile walk, but the actual city center is very easy to navigate on foot.

I had orientation on Wednesday and got to meet fellow incoming students - really a diverse group, at least in terms of age, gender, and race. Classes start on Tuesday!

Saturday, August 22, 2009

Why I left the Lighthouse to go back to school

Since being home, I have realized that anyone who did not read my July newsletter is probably really confused about what I am doing back in the States sooner than planned! I don't know if any of those people might be reading my blog, but just in case I decided to post the part of my newsletter explaining the sudden change in plans.

A radical change in plans

Two months ago, I never would have imagined I would find myself where I am today. I knew that God had asked me to come to the Lighthouse, and I expected to be staying at least a couple of years. However, through a sequence of events, opportunities, and redirections, God has confirmed that it is already time for me to take other steps in pursuit of the greater calling He has shown me that He has for me. I hope that by sharing the story of how He has been leading me in this new direction that you, my friends, family, and supporters, will be able to understand why my plans have changed so quickly.

In May, I attended a two-week training for administrators to help equip me to work with the accounting of the Lighthouse. On the first day of the training, the person leading it spoke about the Parable of the Talents and challenged us to think of it not just in terms of money, but in terms of how well we are investing and putting to use the gifts and talents that God has given us. I reflected quite a bit on this the following days. I made a list in my journal of all of the gifts, talents, and abilities that I have that I either wasn’t using or wasn’t fully realizing. Beside that list, I made another list of things I could change or do differently here in order for those gifts to be more fully realized. Yet, there were a few things that stood out that couldn’t be fully realized here – things that began to remind me of and draw me back to the big picture calling God had already been showing me for my life.

When I first arrived in Brazil, during my time working as a volunteer before starting the Discipleship Training School, God began speaking to me quite a bit regarding my primary life calling as a prophet of sorts. In the Old Testament, prophets acted as the mouthpiece of God and as the mouthpiece of the marginalized, who otherwise would not have had a voice of their own. God showed me He wanted me to be this kind of mouthpiece, to speak out and raise consciousness in the church regarding issues of social justice in order to mobilize the church into action. He also showed me that He wanted to use my writing as a means of accomplishing this, to reach whatever audiences I could.

A few days later during the administrators’ training, someone passed out some information on a Christian conference to be held in Rio focusing on issues of social justice. I was excited to see the name of the speaker – Ron Sider. I had heard him speak in Portland and was in the middle of his book, Rich Christians in an Age of Hunger, and he was nothing short of being one of my heroes. In the midst of my excitement regarding the conference, I thought, Ron Sider is a professor somewhere – wouldn’t it be interesting to study under him? I looked up some information on the internet and found out he is on staff at Palmer Theological Seminary in Pennsylvania. I also discovered that every year they give out scholarships that include, in addition to financial aid, working at the Sider Center on Public Policy and being mentored by Ron Sider. On top of all of this, I discovered that it wasn’t too late to apply for this year.

I began to seriously pray about this opportunity, and felt that I should start the application process because I could always decide later. I originally wanted to apply to start in February 2010, so that I could finish the year with my girls. But then I discovered two things: 1) scholarships, including the one that involves being mentored by Ron Sider, are only available for students starting in the fall, and 2) my co-leader for my group had decided to return to Holland in September. I met with my leaders here at the Lighthouse to discuss the possibility of leaving to go back and study, and much to my surprise, they were very supportive and encouraging. My leader also suggested that even if I stayed until the end of the year, I should still cancel my group, as groups here always have two leaders and it is strongly advised not to attempt leading a group by oneself. In response to these factors, I decided to move my application to September of this year.

The past month or so has been a time of waiting for me. It has been very difficult to live in a world full of “ifs”, not knowing if my time at the Lighthouse is coming to an end or if I still have a good amount of time left here. However, it has also been a great time for me to seek God, and in the midst of uncertainty, I have been able to rest in the confidence that He knows the plans that He has for me. I had done my part in submitting all of the application materials and essays, and now it was all in His hands. If He wanted me to go, He could open this door for me. I also reached a point where I was really at peace with either outcome. Part of me loves it here so much and feels so at home here that I would have been perfectly content staying another year or so. But the other part of me knew the direction God was calling me in, and also knew that there would be nothing better to prepare me for that than this opportunity to study with Ron Sider, if I were to be granted a scholarship and be mentored by him.

My uncertainty was put to an end this past week when I received an email saying that I had been granted not one, but two scholarships I had applied for – one that covers half of the tuition and involves working at the Sider Center and being mentored by Ron Sider, and the other that is another $4000 per year, reducing my tuition costs to roughly $1000 per year! Upon reading this email, I didn’t know if I should jump up and shout for joy or start crying since that would mean leaving my new home (I did a bit of both). While waiting for this decision, I felt confident that if God wanted me to take this step, He would open the door, and if He opened it, I would walk through. I never expected to be granted two scholarships – but that was more confirmation than I had hoped for! I accepted the offer and will be flying home to Portland on August 12th before heading to Philadelphia at the end of August.

The fourth wave

I shared the news with the Lighthouse team on Friday. It was received very well, not because people are eager to see me go (at least I hope!), but because they can also see and understand the direction God is leading me in. A few fellow missionaries talked with me following my announcement, encouraging me that the direction that God is leading me in is very much in line with the fourth wave of missions, a topic that has become a popular topic conversation within YWAM and at our base.

The fourth wave basically involves extending our Christian influence into all sectors of society and living out our faith in a way that brings about social transformation. The seven spheres of influence YWAM focuses on are academics/education, politics, science/technology, the church, families, the media, and arts/entertainment. The idea is that God is calling Christians into these specific areas, to exercise their influence in the so-called “secular” world. The gospel should result not only in transformation on the individual level, but on the societal level as well.

While I am leaving foreign missions for the present time, I am not leaving the mission field. God is calling me to the front lines of the fourth wave. I don’t know where exactly God will lead me in the future, but I feel that this two-year Masters in Theological Studies program with an emphasis in Social Policy will help better equip me to have that kind of influence through giving me the opportunity to grow in knowledge and enabling me to expand my voice. At this point, I think it is likely that I will pursue a Ph.D. in sociology from a highly acclaimed secular university following my Masters degree, to further expand my knowledge, expertise, influence, and voice both within the academic world and within the church, to speak out regarding social issues and call Christians into action.

Monday, August 17, 2009

Random thoughts from this side of the world

I love driving...great to drive after not driving for so long (while in Brazil). But once I turn 25, I will no longer be covered on my parents' car insurance policy, meaning I will no longer drive, and I certainly won't be buying a car anytime soon. At least Philadelphia seems to have a good public transit system.

I left my keys in the car door TWICE today, when getting into the car. Then I sat down to start it and wondered where my keys were... I have never done that before, but thankfully that was the extent of my driving issues after 7 months of not driving!

Maybe I did it because I almost always left my keys in the outside of my bedroom door at Luzeiro.

Over the past year or so I have discovered that I really like classical music...unfortunately, while in Brazil, I only had one classical CD on my computer, which I now have totally memorized. Thankfully now I have more selection!

I picked up my flute yesterday to see if I still remembered how to play it. I was amazed I got a good sound on it right away and still remembered many scales, but I don't have any music or know where it is...but it would be fun to start playing again.

I picked up my guitar yesterday as well, which I also haven't played since high school. Still remember the chords and a few worship songs but that's about it...I was never that good on guitar to begin with. Anyone want to buy an Ovation Legend Acoustic/Electric? The same kind of guitar Shakira plays.

I've heard Shakira's new song for the first time since coming back. I tend to not like her songs at first but then they usually grow on me after awhile.

It's weird not being at the Lighthouse, but a part of my heart is still there. It already seems that I have been gone an eternity as I stepped into a totally different world, but I can still look at the clock and think of exactly what everyone is doing there at that point in time.

I hope that I can make as good of friends in Philadelphia as I made at the Lighthouse.

I don't know if I will ever be in one place for a long period of time.

Before going to Brazil, a friend asked me what song represented my life at that point. I really liked that question and like to periodically contemplate it for myself. Right now it would be "Estante da Vida" by Heloise Rosa, the first song on a CD my Brazilian friend, Rosangela, gave me as a going away gift. Part of the lyrics say,
"Não importa o lugar, sei que sou visto por Ti
Não importa o lugar, sei que sou amado por Ti
Não importa o lugar, sei que sou aceito por Ti
Não importa o lugar, sei que sou amado por Ti"

That's like my theme song right now because it reminds me no matter where I am or where I go, God is the same and He is with me and sees me, loves me, and accepts me. I'm singing this a lot right now because I just left a very special place, am home only 2 weeks, then going to a totally new place! Everything is changing like crazy, but God isn't - He is still the same and He is my stabilizing presence and my Rock.

It's only been 5 days since I left the Lighthouse...weird. Feels longer. Tomorrow night will be the first Tuesday night prayer thing at some friends' house that I won't be able to go to! I will miss that.

I really know very little about what to expect in Philadelphia, but I'm actually quite at peace about it. I have never even been to the East Coast before, I don't know anything about my roommate, I don't know what classes I will be taking, I don't know what my internship will be like, but I should know all of these things in just over 2 weeks!

It is finally sunny and decently warm here! Hip-idibipidibipidibip-hooray! I forgot to record Gerben saying that...

Friday, August 14, 2009

Initial re-entry impressions / culture shock (written 6am at the Miami airport)

It started when I caught the ônibus executivo from the city center of Belo Horizonte to the airport…

Straight from the streets of the favela to a bus full of business men dressed in fancy suits talking and negotiating business deals on their cell phones… Brazilians, but not the kind I lived among the past 16 months. They looked quite accustomed to travelling for business, whereas most of the Brazilians I met and lived among had never flown on a plane, and many had never left the city or been on a vacation.

On the plane…

I remember always complaining about airplane food as a kid, but as I was served free dinner and breakfast on my flight, I was quite thankful, and thought the food was actually pretty good. After rice and beans and more rice and beans when you can’t eat beans, perhaps that explains it! ;) The coffee was awful though, my coffee taste has become more refined during my time in Brazil as nothing compares to properly brewed Três Corações…I will just have to quit drinking coffee again now that I am back.

Then I arrive in the Miami airport…

SPANISH. SPANISH. MORE SPANISH. Time to learn how to switch between Portuguese and Spanish, Stefanie. I still understand Spanish but I am afraid that as I start speaking it again more frequently I will mess up my Portuguese…which I had finally just almost dug all of my Spanish out of…after over a year!

Then I needed something to drink, so I bought an açaí-blueberry-pomegranate flavored vitamin water, because I already miss açaí. It cost over $3 – that’s like R$6, more than it costs for a 500mL crème de açaí at the best açaí place in Belo. And...it tastes like….BUBBLEGUM! Hmm…contains less than 1% juice, that must be why! Unfortunately, I did not come up with a way to smuggle fresh açaí back into the country…..

The Lighthouse really became my home. I already miss walking the streets of the favela and running into girls from my group, their families, or others I know. It’s amazing how you can totally plop yourself down in another world in less than 24 hours (provided that you have the necessary $$$ and visas/documents).

Esquecí uma coisa muito importante na Luzeiro! Quem sabe o que que é? Eu acho que pelo menos a Barbara sabe, se ela já achou meu blog! Até esquecí de despedir dela e seu companheiro barulento...tadinha!

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

My famous chocolate chip cookies...

...are not so much my own. True, they made the girls in my group think I was a professional baker...I spoiled it a little by telling them I just got the recipe from the internet. But many have asked for the recipe so here is the link:

http://allrecipes.com/Recipe/Best-Chocolate-Chip-Cookies/Detail.aspx

I didn't use walnuts since I can't eat nuts, and since real chocolate chips are hard to find here, I bought big bars of semi-sweet chocolate and used a bit more than the recipe called for to make up for not using nuts. If I were to make them again, I think I would use a little less sugar/brown sugar because they are a bit sweet for my taste.

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Traficantes: the bosses of the slum

Those involved in the drug-trade (traficantes) are a powerful presence in the slum. They are the law. They are the ones who keep the order, the ones who no one wants to mess with. Two examples from this past weekend illustrate the variety of their functions, how they enforce their power, and the relationships they have with others (including us).

The first example is quite brutal. At 9pm on Friday night, just down the street from the Lighthouse, a man was beaten to death with sticks by the traficantes. Apparently the beating was so brutal that his head was severed. One has to ask several questions as to why the traficantes took this approach, 1) to beat him so brutally when they could have just shot him or stabbed him, and 2) to do it in the middle of the street in open public view at a time where there are tons of people out and around.

From what I have heard about this man, he owed the traficantes quite a bit of money, and had fled from the favela years ago in order to get away, and came back for some reason perhaps thinking enough time had passed that they wouldn't remember. It seems, based on the time, place, and method used by the traficantes, that they wanted to send a message to others in the favela, to strike fear into them and reinforce their power and the idea that no one should mess with them.

So the traficantes do bad things, though this is an extreme example. Someone who has been living here for years commented it is the most barbaric thing they have seen or heard of happening here. Yet, in an ironic sort of way, the traficantes actually help preserve peace in the slum, as long as there is one gang in power.

What? Traficantes preserve the peace? They want to avoid anything that would invite the police into the community. So, they have a law - no stealing from anyone else in the community. If someone steals from you, who do you call? The traficantes. And there is a high likelihood of the stolen object being returned to you. Calling the police wouldn't do much of anything, so people readily turn to the traficantes, who readily provide their services knowing that it enforces their power and keeps the police out.

Weekend before last, one of our staff members had his laptop stolen out of the office by a kid who came into grab his kite and carried out the laptop along with it. Some of our staff saw the kid running off with the laptop but didn't recognize him and assumed he wasn't from the community, because usually no one in the community is stupid enough to steal from someone else within the community. The person who had the laptop stolen went out into the community with our leaders and reported the stolen laptop.

A week went by, and everyone assumed the laptop was gone for good, that someone on the outside had taken it. Then this Sunday one of the traficantes showed up at our gate, saying that they had the laptop and asked for someone to go with him to get it. One of our leaders went up with him to the boca (drug-dealing alley), where he asked someone else to go get the laptop from his house. Our leader naively began to follow this person, before the traficante motioned for him to stay back (he obviously didn't want to invite him into his house). The boy he sent returned with the laptop and the traficante had fulfilled his community police duty.

Of course the person who had the laptop stolen was happy to receive it back, not only because of the financial value, but also because of the documents saved on it. But naturally we were concerned with what happened to the 12-year-old boy who stole the laptop. We were relieved to discover that the traficantes had mercy on him, telling him that nothing would happen to him if he turned the laptop over to them. He evidently turned it over readily and the traficantes kept their word.

The slum is really a different world with its own rules and laws and the traficantes are those with the most power. It is interesting that although they do bad things (acts of violence on top of drug-dealing), they really respect those who are trying to do good for the community and especially religious workers such as missionaries. I feel like those at the Lighthouse have favor with them even though our teachings condemn many of their actions. But perhaps witnessing to the traficantes can be a key to social tranformation here in the slum. At least we know we don't have to fear them because we have no reason to.

Sunday, July 26, 2009

My calling as a prophet (part II)

Here are some more journal entries regarding things God showed me regarding my calling as a prophet, from just before leaving for DTS outreach to shortly after DTS just before flying home to visit for the holidays and raise support.

9/9/08

[At the end of my last DTS class before outreach, the guest lecturer began to turn to everyone in the class and share prophetic words with them. I had never seen anything like it, but below is my notes of what he told to me minus some of the more personal things he said, though for me the personal things established his credibility as a prophet.]

Ezekiel 47 – 4 levels of water, God wants to take me deeper, to a new level of ministry beyond what I see and know

God wants to take all timidity out of my life.

God is pleased that I truly fear Him.

6/10/08

Books / author that helped create my social consciousness:
The Next Christendom – Phil Jenkins
Confessions of an Economic Hitman
Communist Manifesto
Pedagogy of the Oppressed
Everything Must Change
Cry, the Beloved Country
Tony Campolo books
Cornel West
Cenizas de Izalco
No Me Agarran Viva
House of the Spirits
Uncle Tom’s Cabin
To Kill a Mockingbird
Ron Sider

11/10/08

Deus,

Ezekiel 47 – what was prophesied over me by Pastor Lincoln. Water comes from the temple, starts as a trickle. From south side. Flows east. Man leads me toward the east and measures water every 1000 cubits. Ankles. Knees. Loins. River that cannot be forded. Brings me back to the bank. Trees growing on both sides. Go east to Arabah? Then to sea. Waters of sea become fresh/healed. Every creature that swims wherever the two rivers go will live. Makes other waters fresh/healed. Everything lives where the river goes. Fishermen will stand beside it, place for spreading nets, fish of many kinds. Swamps and marshes will not be healed, will be given for salt.

(Water has to be moving to be fresh/healed. Water in swamps and marshes is stagnant.)

Trees for food grow next to river on both sides. Leaves will not wither and fruit will not fail. Bear every month because waters flow from sanctuary, fruit for food and leaves for healing.

I am not the water, but one who has the privilege to witness it, to be taken to where it is deep and to witness the healing it brings, turning salt to fresh, and the bearing of fruit and bringing of life to creatures.

I am also a vessel of the living water, because the Holy Spirit dwells in me, the water flows through me.

14/10/08

I Samuel 3

God calls us by name. The proper response is, “Speak, LORD, your servant is listening.”

LORD, I want to say the same to You. I am Your servant and I am ready to hear whatever You have to say to me. I want to hear and obey You because I am here to do Your will not mine.

Open my vision, LORD. I want my hopes and dreams to be overwhelmed by Your hopes and dreams – I want to be driven by Your vision, not my own.

God, sometimes I just feel so overwhelmed by the disconnect between nice, inspiring theory and the actual size of the task at hand – which seems, well, impossible. Inequality is so widespread with roots running so deep, so complex, God it seems unchangeable. But I know Your heart aches for the oppressed, LORD, that You are a God of justice and You are not pleased with the present situation. What is it that You want me to do, little-ole’-me? Speak, LORD, Your servant is listening.
For now stay at the Lighthouse to get a better understanding of inequality and to be solidary with the oppressed, to learn more about their situation and what can be done by hearing their voices, and really experiencing their kind of life.

18/10/08

LORD,
Thank you for last night, for using me to bring Your message to this church, and for once again confirming the calling – the greater calling – You have been showing me that You have for me. To be a prophet, to take Your word to Your church, to wake people up, to speak Your message to them and share Your heart with them. LORD, I know that I am not a great preacher in terms of being a charismatic speaker who riles up the congregation to rip and roar with amens, alelujas, glorias a Deus…. I certainly do not speak the most eloquent Portuguese … but the power does not come from my ability to speak, but because the message is from Your heart and carries its own weight. I am just Your mouthpiece, the vessel of Your Holy Spirit. It is You who works in the hearts of people, I am just the messenger. I don’t have to trust in my own ability, I only need to trust in You, that You will equip me to do whatever You call me to. I don’t want to be like Moses and question my ability to speak for You and make You provide another to speak for me, because things can be lost in translation. But I want to continue to depend on You and obey You, and share the messages that come from Your heart for Your people, for the renewal, edification, and building up of Your church, whether that is here in Brazil, in the US, or wherever You may take me.

Love you,
Stef

20/11/08

LORD,
I thank You for how You used Sidney tonight and his message of restored so you can restore to confirm what You spoke to me about my calling during outreach – as a prophet to wake up the church and mobilize it into action. I also thank You that You showed me that the plans You have for me in terms of that calling are so much bigger than those regarding []. But You will take care of me in the little things, too. Thank You, Father.

Love you,
Stef

21/11/08

Jeremiah 15:16-20
16Your words were found and I (AN)ate them,
And Your (AO)words became for me a joy and the delight of my heart;
For I have been (AP)called by Your name,
O LORD God of hosts.
17I (AQ)did not sit in the circle of merrymakers,
Nor did I exult
Because of Your hand upon me I sat (AR)alone,
For You (AS)filled me with indignation.
18Why has my pain been perpetual
And my (AT)wound incurable, refusing to be healed?
Will You indeed be to me (AU)like a deceptive stream
With water that is unreliable?
19Therefore, thus says the LORD,
"(AV)If you return, then I will restore you--
(AW)Before Me you will stand;
And (AX)if you extract the precious from the worthless,
You will become My spokesman.
They for their part may turn to you,
But as for you, you must not turn to them.
20"Then I will (AY)make you to this people
A fortified wall of bronze;
And though they fight against you,
They will not prevail over you;
For (AZ)I am with you to save you
And deliver you," declares the LORD.
21"So I will (BA)deliver you from the hand of the wicked,
And I will (BB)redeem you from the grasp of the violent."

LORD, regardless of how people respond to me, You are with me and that is what matters. Thank You for restoring me and calling me to be your portavoz, so that others may be restored through me.

Love you, LORD,
Stef

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

My calling as a prophet (part I)

Below are some journal entries from my first journal since arriving in Brazil (I am finishing up #5 now) pertaining to things God started to speak to me regarding my calling as a prophet. Perhaps I will post some entries from my later journals later.

19/5/08

I am a prophet

What I have learned about my calling so far since being here:
- God wants me to raise consciousness among His people who are ignorant of the role they play in contributing to oppression (rather than being repulsed/annoyed by them)
- God wants me to use my writing to raise consciousness in the body of Christ, to communicate regarding social issues and suggest roles Christians may play

31/5/08

My mission here is to seek Your Kingdom, to be solidary with the oppressed, to promote conscientização. Help me make the right steps toward fulfilling that, and finding Your specific calling for me.

31/5/08

Ezekiel 3:16-21
If I do not warn people with God’s message, to make them conscious of their wrongdoing, they will continue in sin, but if they had heard, the righteous would have responded and been cleansed from their sin. The weight is on me if I do not communicate the message. It is not for me to worry about how they respond, because the righteous will take heed. I am just the messenger, and my job is to speak the message God gives me, to point out wrongdoing and injustice so people are aware.

9/6/08

What I have learned so far regarding my gifts and calling:
- Writing – gift
o Can be used to raise consciousness, to fundraise, to spread ideas, be a voice for those who don’t have it – autora comprometida
- Calling – prophet
o Voice of those who are oppressed (portavoz)
o Raise consciousness among those who are ignorant of issues pertaining to poverty
- Listener, collector of stories, mobilizer
- Not one actually doing the work, but observing it, analyzing it, and communicating to others why it needs to be done.
- Looking for answers to questions regarding the roots of poverty – the best place to be is with the poor so I can learn their stories and begin to gain an understanding of their situation before seeking a way to improve it.
- I am not their savior, but I can fight at their side, and I must be at their side to fight at it

God, I thank you that You are putting faces on poverty and oppression, that my lofty ideals are being grounded into reality, that I am beginning to learn the practical side of things so that theory may be put into action.

Problem: training = theory with little action
practice = action with little theory
Practice needs more time for theory and training needs more time for action?

17/6/08

The oppressed have been deprived of their voices. Perhaps I can help their voices be heard as a portavoz because I can listen to their stories and share them with whatever audience I can gather through my writing.
- Through telling individual stories, I can help raise consciousness, help people see oppressed as individuals.
- Goal of email update is to help people see oppressed as individuals.

23/6/08

God,
The more I seek Your will for me, the more You speak to me and reveal to me, the more responsibility I have to obey. There is no use in hearing You if I don’t obey. I want to be a doer of Your will and not just a hearer. So as You speak to me while I am here, as I know You will, I ask that You would also be working in me and strengthening me and preparing me so that I am ready to obey when You ask me.

Sunday, July 5, 2009

Lessons from the Amarelinho

The amarelinho is the little yellow bus that runs through the slum. Although the bus line has a number (103), everyone simply refers to it as the amarelinho, or "little yellow". Riding on the amarelinho is an adventure in itself, like a R$0.55 rollercoaster ride that actually gets you where you're going. Though, depending on the time of day and how off-schedule the buses are running, you will likely be standing for this ride, but don't worry, if that is the case, you will likely be packed in enough that you won't fly around much!

There are now a couple of newer amarelinho buses with a slightly new design. God has been speaking to me a lot through analogies lately, using simple, tangible examples to represent a bigger lesson. This happened the first time I got on one of these new amarelinho buses. They may look more chic, but someone seriously errored in the new design. Perhaps they thought that using slightly larger seats would make the bus ride more comfortable, but they obviously didn't consider that by making the aisle smaller, it is nearly impossible to squeeze past others standing, and given that the bus only has one door in the front to both enter and exit, that is a challenge. The seats are also staggered so there is not a straight aisle, making it challenging to get through. As I boarded this bus during the morning rush of people heading to work, I couldn't help but thinking that whoever thought of this new design had obviously never riden on the amarelinho before! A five year old kid from the slum could have come up with a more practical design!

The bigger lesson: this is what happens when people from the outside try to fix problems they know nothing about. Well-intentioned people often try to do things to help those more in need, but they can't do it apart from the input of those very people, because they are the ones who best know their own situation and they can come up with the best answers to how to address it.

I was reminded of this lesson this morning as I was reading through my old journal entries since arriving in Brazil for the first time. (I'm currently on my 5th journal since arriving - I jot down struggles, questions, lessons learned, things God speaks to me, etc. then I can look back to make sure I don't forget it and to see how much I have learned and grown.) A month or so after arriving in Brazil the first time, I wrote: "Looking for answers to questions regarding the roots of poverty - the best place to be is with the poor so I can learn their stories and begin to gain an understanding of their situation before trying to improve it." There is a kind of learning that comes from knowing people that you can't get from books. Some problems can be better understood when they are witnessed and experienced firsthand. And often the best answers and solutions come from those most familiar with the problems.

Sunday, June 21, 2009

Random thoughts

This is probably about as random as they get since it is 12:30am, and I am wide awake since I went to bed "to pray" at 7:30pm and got quite a bit of "prayer sleep".

Yesterday we had an "impacto" here in the slum, an interchurch event that took place in the Cafezal plaza up the hill, near the health post. It was great to see the pastors from different churches working together to lead this rather unstructured, Spirit-led preaching/worship service in the middle of the public park.

I made chocolate chip cookies again this weekend...I seem to have more friends everyday. ;)

God doesn't tell us things just for the sake of telling us - He always has a purpose in what He tells us, He tells us what we need to know.

I'm in the process of asking God why He has told me some of the things that He has told me, what He wants me to do with that information.

Sometimes He tells us things just so we can pray about them, sometimes because we need to tell someone else, or sometimes because we need to do something about what He told us.

I miss carpet, the way it feels to walk on it barefoot.

Brazilians don't really say brrrrrrrrrrrrrr when they are cold, and now that the winter months are rolling in, I catch myself naturally saying it, sometimes rather loud...I must look kind of crazy. I have surveyed the other foreigners to make sure it is not just an American expression, and have found that Dutch and German people say brrrrr but with a heavy roll on the R but English people say brrr like I do, more like "bur" with no R roll.

I'm almost done reading Rich Christians in an Age of Hunger by Ron Sider. I highly recommend it. It is re-inspiring me in my vision and big-picture calling, but also personally challenging me in some areas.

Sometimes I wake up thinking in Portuguese now...

Agora eu sei como trocar o idioma de meu teclado então dá para digitar em português se eu quiser. Tambêm agora sei como escrever melhor por causa de meu curso de português.

It's hard to talk/write in Spanish now because it is so similar to Porgutuese, I need to train myself to switch better.

One girl from my group who was really starting to show improvement was suddenly taken by the police to live with her mom on the other side of the city, due to her father abusing them. I hope she's doing okay, though I have heard the man living with her mom is abusive as well. We're sad we can't work with this girl any more...she was so closed at the beginning of the year that she would never talk and if we tried to talk with her personally, she would turn her head, shut down completely, and never look us in the eye. Just before being taken away, she had come so far that she was participating in all of the activities, enjoying herself, trying to write whenever we do written work (she doesn't know how or has some disability), and not only able to talk to us and look us in the eye, but also courageous enough to stay after to talk to us about some struggles she was having with other girls in the group. This girl and her siblings are so precious but have been through so much...I really feel God's heart for them.

Okay...I'm going back to bed now.

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Lessons from Chocolate Chip Cookies

Some of you may remember reading a blog I wrote just over a year ago regarding my first attempt to make chocolate chip cookies here in Brazil during my time as a volunteer at the girls’ house. Basically I struggled to find some of the ingredients and accidentally ended up using yeast rather than baking soda, and it didn’t come out looking anything like normal cookies (but the girls still ate it). Since then I have not been brave enough to try baking much of anything here in Brazil, but this week I decided to give chocolate chip cookies another try as I learned the proper words for all of the ingredients and I wanted to make something special to serve at the 15th birthday party of one of the girls in my group. I still faced the challenge of a gas oven with no temperature gauge and a few improvisations in terms of ingredients, yet by some miracle they turned out absolutely perfect! I still wasn’t sure what the girls would think of them as chocolate chip cookies basically don’t exist here. To my surprise, when the girls tried them, they were shocked that I had made them because they thought they were professionally made. They asked for the recipe and even though I told them I just got it off of the internet, they determined my cooking was good enough that I can get married. (Here in Brazil it is normal to tell a single woman she can get married if her food is good – I like to say the same to single men to single things out a bit.)
After the birthday party was over and the four dozen cookies had been consumed in a matter of minutes, God used this experience to speak to me about my own progress since first arriving here in Brazil. When I first got here, I didn’t know hardly anything about the language, how to find my way around the city, where to buy things, how to cook, clean, and use appliances, etc. But after a year, this is really my home now. I know how to get around the city without getting lost (most of the time!), I know how to speak the language well, I know how to use so many things that were very foreign to me at first. Something that I failed at a year ago, I not only succeeded but excelled at now! Although there are still challenges with living here and navigating in a foreign culture, I have come a really long way in the past year and am now capable of mastering things I was completely clueless regarding before.

Saturday, April 11, 2009

A very specific need of the Lighthouse



Here at the Lighthouse, we have been vehicle-less for quite some time, and last year staff were really praying for the means to purchase a new "kombi" or van/minibus for the house. We recently received an offering that covers 65% of the cost of a new VW minibus! That still leaves us with US$7500 to raise. Please prayerfully consider how you may be able to help the Lighthouse in this VERY practical manner. Having more than 40 people in a house and no form of transport is kind of tough, so please join us in our mission to get a minibus! :-)

If you would like to contribute from the US, you have two choices:

1) Make a tax-deductible contribution by sending a check to the following address:
YWAM
PO Box 3000
Garden Valley, TX 75771, USA

Make a note indicating that it is for YWAM Belo Horizonte - Center, Brazil, for the Lighthouse minibus fund.

The downside of donating this way is that it takes a couple of months for the money to go through the necessary process to actually end up in our hands here at the base. If you decide to donate this way, please send me an email to let me know so that we know to be expecting your donation.

2) If you don't care about being able to take a tax-deduction and would like your gift to be received immediately, you can make a wire transfer into the Lighthouse's bank account here in Brazil. Wire transfers usually cost about $50 so this is probably only worth it if you are making a larger gift. Please send me an email if you would like to donate this way and I can pass you the information regarding the bank account that you will need to make the wire transfer. That way I will also know to be watching our account so we can confirm when it comes through.

Studying Portuguese

Foreigners on staff here are given the option to study Portuguese half-time for the first 3 months. At first, I thought I didn't really need this as I already speak decently and can get better just by speaking more, but after giving it more thought, I realized that I have never learned how to read and write in Portuguese, and that is a valuable skill to have that may help me greatly in the long-term here.

I went a public university to take a placement test, and when the professor reviewed it afterward, he said I was right in between the Intermediate II and Advanced classes, but he suggested that I challenge myself by giving the Advanced course a try. I think did so well on the test because my Spanish background helped a lot in the grammar portions even though I have never learned proper grammar in Portuguese.

So I have been in this class for a few weeks now, and think I am surviving, though I feel everyone in the class is better than me! Everyone is either married to a Brazilian and/or speaks Italian, Spanish, or French as their first language, making Portuguese easier. They all speak so well! At first I felt a bit overwhelmed, but I feel the challenge has been good for me and I am really catching up. I am learning how to properly use the subjunctive tenses and everything from my spelling to my pronunciation is improving!

The class has also been good for me in terms of getting outside of the YWAM bubble and outside of the slum, putting me back into an environment much like that I was in during my classes in college, primarily with people hostile toward religion and especially Christianity.

Many YWAMers here are in these Portuguese courses...but I am the only one in the advanced course, so I am on my own in that sense!

Two class discussions have been very interesting for me: one on simpatias or superstitions and the other on social problems and what the government can do to improve things.

The class on simpatias was quite interesting, because we learned about many of the superstitions that people here in Brazil have, many within the Catholic church or spiritist traditions, or a syncretism of the two. There are many things that follow the following formula: if you want x, you do y and z for this saint. For example, Sao Antonio is the saint of romance. In June each year there is a celebration called the Festa Juninha (June/winter Festival), and it is supposed to be a good time to find that special someone. During this time, single women take their statue of Sao Antonio and place it upside down as a "punishment" for the fact that he hasn't provided them with a man yet, then go out to dance, and I guess only turn it back right side up if Sao Antonio comes through in providing a man.

As we discussed this and other various simpatias mostly connected to some kind religion, I couldn't help but think I am SO thankful that it is not like this with the God that I worship - it is different because I have a personal relationship with Him based on who He is. It isn't something that I just use Him to get what I want and just follow a formula to do whatever I need to do to get that. It is totally different! He blesses me not on the basis of what I do, but because of His love for me, and I love Him because of who He is. I don't have a statue of Him that I turn upside down to punish Him if I don't get what I want! Sometimes I struggle to understand if things don't go as I would like or the way that seems best in my eyes, but that does not stop me from loving Him or relating to Him, because He matters more to me than what is happening in my life. What a difference than the simpatias used to get things out of the saints!

The other class of particular interest to me was during our unit on politics. We got into a discussion regarding the main problems facing Brazil and what the government can do about it. Some of the biggest problems identified were poverty and social inequality. We discussed what the government can do to address these problems, and the best thing the class could come up with was improving the education system, yet that has its challenges and shortcomings. Basically, the conversation made me realize that I am here doing what the government can't do to bring about change in these areas. This was an amazing realization for me, because in the past when I have discussed these things it has always been a theoretical discussion, but now it is real, rooted in my experiences, and their are faces and stories I can relate to these large, abstract social issues. We also discussed problems like corruption in politics and the police force. And it reminded me why the kind of character transformation brought about by a genuine relationship with God is so key to broader social transformation. It is the only way to truly uproot social injustice and corruption. People will always find ways to get personal gain and take opportunity of any situation at the expense of others unless moral reasons and personal convictions as to why not to, and without God, people have no reason to hold those kind of convictions.

Not your typical church...

The other week I went to a church here in the slum up in Del Rei, which is up the hill from the Lighthouse. Del Rei is known to be a more violent neighborhood at the moment, because of drug trafficking and gang wars. When one druglord has power over a certain territory, things tend to be more peaceful, but when there is a contest for power/territory between two or more druglords, you don't want to be caught in the middle of it! The area immediately around the Lighthouse has been pretty safe and peaceful for awhile, but just up the hill things are different. So to walk up to this church, we had to pass through a known "boca", or drug-dealing locale. There were many people heading to church at this time of the evening, which gave the streets a safer feel, though we were advised to come back by bus as things are more dangerous late at night, and we took that advise (which also saved us from walking back in the sudden downpour that can roll in out of nowhere during the rainy season, which seems to be prolonged this year).

I don't know if I have ever been to a cooler church service in my life. We actually had to leave early to catch the bus, right when the sermon was starting (2.5 hours into the service). Everything up to that point was worship and musical performances. Like many churches in Brazil, they had some youth up in the front worshipping through dance. However, this was different. Normally the churches here just have girls doing this - and it is usually graceful, ballet-like dancing. But this church had young men as well - and they were worshipping through break-dance! I have never seen anything like it before, but these young men who were dancing were totally into and I sensed really worshipping God through expressing themselves through this kind of dance. It was awesome! I don't think I have ever seen so much creativity in worship at a church. I don't know if it is like this every week there, but it definitely made me want to go back!

Thursday, March 26, 2009

God in children

Yesterday during my morning meditation time (ie quiet time, hang time, whatever you want to call it), I was praying for God to show me more of His Father heart for me right now. He answered my prayer in a very unexpected way. During my afternoon group, one of my girls handed me a note, four pages long and beautifully written in different colors, accompanied by designs and drawings. Part of it was clearly something she copied from somewhere, like the type of thing that someone would forward on as an email to all of their friends, but it was much more meaningful than that since it was so carefully handwritten. The part that God used to answer my prayer was the following (Portuguese followed by English translation):

Se algum dia, voce vier a esquecer de mim, olhe para o mar e eu serei a onda que vier ao seu lado.

Se algum dia, voce vier a esquecer de mim, olhe para as estrelas e eu serei a que mais brilhar.

Se algum dia, voce se esquecer de mim, olhe para as flores e eu serei a que voce cheirar.

Mas mesmo assim se continuar se esquecendo de mim... Olhe para os passaros e eu serei o sinonimo de liberdade.

E se continuar esquecendo de mim, olhe para a lua e eu serei a luz que te guia na escuridao.

E se a lua nao fizer voce lembrar de mim... Olhe para o sol e eu seria sua fonte de energia.

E se tudo isso fizer com que nao lembres de mim...

Olhe para as criancas e eu serei a que com carinho te dizer...

EU TE AMO!

If some day you should come to forget me, look to the sea and I will be the wave that comes to your side.

If some day you should come to forget me, look to the stars and I will be the one that shines brightest.

If some day you should forget me, look to the flowers and I will be the one that you smell.

But if you still continue forgetting me... Look to the birds and I will be the synonym of freedom.

And if you continue forgetting me, look to the moon and I will be the light that guides you in the darkness.

And if the moon doesn't cause you to remember me... Look to the sun and I will be your fountain/source of energy.

And if all of this doesn't cause you to remember me...

Look to the children and I will be the one that affectionately says...

I LOVE YOU!

I am not sure if the girl in my group who wrote this for me meant this part as to be from her or from God...but God used it to speak to me as if it were from Him. Especially the part about children at the end! I started out leading my group this year thinking that it would just be God using me to minister to them...I never expected Him to use them to minister to me in return, but He surprised me in this way!

Sunday, March 15, 2009

New staff training

This past week I had new staff training, for any new missionaries at the base, not just the Lighthouse. I thought it was interesting on the first day of training when I observed that we were all from different countries, Brazil, the US, England, Germany, and Holland, yet we were all together united by our callings, faith, and common purpose. I was grateful no one needed translation, because everything goes a lot faster without it!

It was great to get to know the other new staff members from the other houses, to share experiences, and so forth.

I also learned a bit from what other staff members shared regarding their experiences. For most people in YWAM, the living conditions are a significant step down from whatever they were used to before. It didn't really cross my mind that it may be a step up for some people. We often complain about how bad the food is and how we rarely even eat meat, but I didn't realize that for some the food is actually better than what they were able to eat before. I also went to see a movie with several staff members, and was surprised to learn that one of them, 27 years old, had never been to the movie theater before. I realized that living in community here not only means living with cultural differences since people come from all over the world, but it also means living with people from different socio-economic backgrounds and experiences, which affects the way they see things here. We all live on financial support so we have that in common, but we are also influenced by our upbringings in how we interpret our surroundings and living conditions. Now that I have realized this it seems so obvious, but it is good for me to be aware of!

Slumdog Millionaire vs. the favelas of Brazil

Last week I went to see the movie Slumdog Millionaire with others who work here at the Lighthouse Community Center. As we work with community development here in the slum, we were all interested to see how this movie portrayed the slums of India. It came out later here than it did in the US...so I will have to jog your memory if you saw it a couple of months ago!

The first thing that caught my attention was the title in Portuguese. Now, it is fairly normal for movie titles to change significantly when translated. But the question is always why. In Portuguese, the movie is called "Quem quer ser milionario?" or "Who wants to be a millionaire?" A literal translation of the title would have been "Favelado milionario." Why change the title in this case? I think it is an issue of marketing here, that those who can pay to go to the movies wouldn't have their interest drawn if the world "favelado" (a derrogatory term for someone from the slum/favela, much like "slum dog") was part of the title.

Rich and middle class Brazilians are able to see a movie like this that shows what life is like in slums in OTHER parts of the world, but the fact is that they would rather turn a blind eye to similar conditions that exist here in Brazil. Including the term "favelado" in the title would make that connection to the similar conditions here, and most Brazilians don't want to watch a movie that is about a favelado, because of the prejudices that exist against favelados here.

There are some key differences between the slums depicted in the film and those here in Brazil, or at least the one that I live in, known as Cafezal, which is part of a community of slums that makes up what is called the Conglomerado da Serra, like the conglomerate slums of the mountain ridge. The government has invested in the slum here in the past twenty years, to provide basic sanitary living conditions, such as sewage systems, running water, electricity, paved roads, and so forth. In times of heavy rain certain smells can result that make me question the sewage system's efficacy, but it is nothing like what was portrayed for bathroom systems in the film! Thank God! Just as in all Brazil, we cannot flush toilet paper down the toilet, but that is about as rough as it gets.

Yet many of the problems portrayed in the film exist here as well. While the government has succeeded in improving basic living conditions, it has not been able to address the social problems of the slum. Drug lords hold a tremendous amount of power, controling certain territories. Kids often get sucked into the drug trade due to lack of other ways to climb the social ladder. Many kids find creative ways to supplement the family income, such as perform tricks at busy street intersections to get money. Those who are vulnerable are easily taken advantage of, just as in the film.

Perhaps the biggest similarity goes back to the term favelado or slumdog and the accompanying prejudices. The gameshow host said shockingly rude things to Jamal when he was competing, belittling him on national television, because of his background growing up in the slum and his current job serving tea. The idea passed is that a slumdog is stupid, ignorant, incapable of the functions of higher society, and basically destined to remain at the bottom in the slumdog kind of life. Jamal is treated in a dehumanizing way simply because of where he is from. It is even assumed that he cheated because he knew the answers and there is no way someone from the slum could do better on the show than an upperclass, highly educated person.

Similar prejudice exists against "favelados" here. Kids who grow up in the favela are told that they are no good, stupid, slum trash. Some of our group leaders witnessed this last year as they took the kids in their group on a fieldtrip to the zoo, where some schools had also taken kids on a fieldtrip. One of the school teachers made a derrogatory comment about the kids in the group referring to them as "favelados" and the kids were very upset by it. They are not too bothered by the term favela, or to say they live in a slum, but the word favelado carries a much stronger meaning with it.

The problem comes when kids internalize the labels others place on them. When they are told they are just favelados and are destined to repeat the same kind of life in the slum that those before them lived, most start to believe it. When they believe it, it can turn into self-fulfilling prophecy. I don't know if their is anything sadder than seeing kids start believing these sorts of things about themselves - a big part of the work we do here is restoring a healthy self-image that society has done so much to destroy, to help kids see themselves through God's eyes rather than society's.

It is so sad that society treats people in this dehumanizing way, that it can treat a group of people as if they are less than human, as if they are trash. I am convinced that this outrages God, who created man in His own image, to see that image being so defiled. As Christians I believe it is our responsibility to fight against these oppressive societal structures that make human beings out to be trash, to restore humanity to those it has been taken away from.

Sunday, March 8, 2009

I finally made it up the mountain!



One of the things I miss most from home is the nature - the trees, the green, the mountains, the natural beauty of Oregon! It's not quite the same here in the 5 million person city of Belo Horizonte, however the little nature the city has to offer is found in the Mangabeiras Park region, which includes an actual park as well as a "mountain" ridge you can climb/hike up. I have been wanting to go since I heard about it and after many months I was finally able to go this past weekend! I survived the hike as you can see from the picture at the top. Unfortunately, I didn't have my camera with me (that's a picture from a volunteer's Blackberry), but there are great views of the city from the top. At least this picture is proof that I made it, and you can see a bit of the mountain ridge in the background. If anyone comes to visit me, I'd love to take you up there, though, Mom, I don't think you could handle the steep drop-offs (not really good if you are afraid of heights).

The GOOD News!

As many of you know (at least if you get my email newsletters and/or prayer updates), I have been leading my girls' group here by myself - something that is not usually done! It has certainly been a challenge for me, but I have been praying for a co-leader (and so have the 15 girls in my group who want to have group more days per week!).

So the good news - someone doing the Community Development School here has decided to stay and join staff afterward - and co-lead my group with me! She has participated with my group a couple of days as a volunteer and really loves the girls! Her name is Barbara and she is from Holland and will be staying here along with her husband.

I haven't told my girls yet - and probably won't until Barbara's school is almost over, which is a few weeks from now. I know that they will be excited! I have a box that I ask them to put prayer requests in every week, and one girl put, "That God will bring another leader for our group so we can have group four days per week." =)

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

My time at Casa Renovo

I took advantage of having time off due to Carnaval to get out of the city and visit some friends from DTS at Casa Renovo, one of the children's shelters for our base, which is located in the small town of Itauna, 90 km or so outside of Belo.



Of all of the shelters I have visited (which is all of the shelters at our base), I think that beyond a doubt Casa Renovo has the best set up for the children. The goals of the house are very simple: 1) have a positive impact on the lives of the children, 2) take care of nature and teach to do the same (through the nature on the property, and 3) have a positive influence on the surrounding community. I may have not got those exactly right, but the big three are children, nature, and community.

I think being out in nature and having the opportunity to play outside has an extremely positive effect on the children and also in turn makes it easier for the workers, because their temperament is much calmer than children in an enclosed shelter in the city with little space and no nature. The children there also learn responsibility and how to care for nature by having chores in the yard and learning about all of the trees and plants growing there.

It was really nice for me to have a few days away from the Lighthouse and outside of the city, to really get some fresh air! Thanks for those of you who prayed for God to give me clarity regarding the things He'd shared with me before that I didn't understand - He definitely gave me that clarity. I also had a great time visiting my friends Arjen and Els from DTS. It was my first time seeing them since DTS graduation at the beginning of November. It was also their son's first birthday, so I got to celebrate with them!





Now I am back at the Lighthouse and work starts up again tomorrow morning! I have missed not having group the past several days, so I look forward to seeing my girls again!

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

My visa renewal process

Thank you for those of you who prayed for me as I went to the Federal Police today to apply for my visa renewal! My application is now turned in and begins the long review process, which I can track via internet via the number they gave me.

Agh...it wasn't easy though. I left the Lighthouse at 8:30am this morning and didn't get back until 4:30pm! I took a total of 7 buses today and had to go to the Federal Police THREE TIMES! I knew I would have to go twice at least because I didn't not have my comprovante de pago, something that you print online and take to a bank to pay, then bring the receipt with you. I did not have the code number so I didn't know which one to print off and pay for, and I didn't want to risk doing the wrong one and having to pay twice.

So my first trip I got the code number and my foreigner ID which also just happened to arrive 8 months after applying for it. So I went to take care of that, print it out, and pay it at the bank, then came back.

Then I found out I misread some of the instructions for needed documents - it said you needed authorized copies of your passport or an official travel document - I took that to mean if you had the original travel document (ie passport) you did not need copies - but that was wrong! So I had to make copies of EVERY SINGLE PAGE in my passport, even in blank ones. Now, I just recently had pages added to my passport because it was almost full of stamps - I had 48 pages added to be precise. Which is a good thing to have except when you have to copy each page and pay to have every single page "authorized" by a notary. At least the cost of notarization here is like 1/10 of what it is in the US. Of course I had to ask for directions a million times to even find a notary, traveling back to the city center, but I am so thankful I speak Portuguese well enough to understand the directions now!

After I did all of this, they were closed for lunch, so I came back and waited for them to open and talked to another man waiting in Portunhol (mixed Portuguese/Spanish), and we ended up talking about mission work and God. So my third time back I had all of the things I needed at last, including my comprovante de pago, which I had accidently left behind there on my second trip and was afraid I had lost and would have to pay again! But they saved it for me and took my application materials, then the guy there, who I had heard had given one of our other staff members a hard time, asked me if I taught English classes/lessons. I told him no because I have a volunteer visa and can't work for pay. He told me he wanted to learn English and that something like that didn't really count as official paid work, and gave me his phone number! I gave him my business card but didn't promise anything, I still thought there was a possibility he was "testing" me to see if I really followed the volunteer visa rules. Plus I don't know if I would have time for something like that, but it would be an easy way to make some extra money if it is actually legal (if the person who processes visas says it is okay and is serious it must be okay...either that or just another example of how much people here find "jeitinhos" or ways around rules).

Anyway, that is only one small part of the visa renewal process - after a lawyer had already prepared the paperwork for me (and thankfully I had a wonderful, fast, on top of things lawyer this time!). So basically this process is a ton of work which is why I am hoping for a 2 year visa rather than the usual 1 year!

To get a permanent visa here, you pretty much have three options:
1) Marry a Brazilian
2) Give birth to a child in the country
3) Become a leader at the base and get your name on the documents for one of the houses

None of those are good things to do just for the sake of getting a visa!

Sunday, January 4, 2009

Yeshua - Fernandinho

Here is another one of my favorite worship songs by Fernandinho with my English translation. This one I learned for the first time during DTS outreach in Paraopeba, Minas Gerais. It is based in Song of Songs/Solomon.

Yeshua... (Yeshua...)

Vem saltando sobre os montes (Come leaping over the mountains)
de Jerusalem (of Jerusalem)

Sou tua noiva apaixonada (I am your bride who is in love)
te esperando para dançar (waiting for you to dance)

All that I Want (Tudo o que Eu Quero) - Fernandinho

Here are the lyrics to another worship song by Fernandinho that I love with my English translation.

Tudo o que eu quero é ser santo (All that I want is to be holy)
Santo como Tu (Holy like You)
Tudo o que eu quero é ser livre (All that I want is to be free)
Livre pra te servir (Free to serve You)

De todas as coisas que eu quero e que eu preciso (Of all of the things that I want and that I need)
Eu quero estar no centro da Tua vontade (I want to be in the center of Your will)

Aquele que começou a boa obra em minha vida (He who began a good work in my life)
Não terminou (Has not finished)

Emmanuel (Emanuel) - Fernandinho

This is another song by Fernandinho that I love accompanied by my English translation.

Deus conosco (God with us)

Deixou a Sua glória para estar comigo (You left Your glory to be with me)
Morreu numa cruz para estar comigo (You died on a cross to be with me)
Venceu o diabo para estar comigo (You overthrew the devil to be with me)
O véu se rasgou para estar comigo (You tore the veil to be with me)

Maravilhoso (Wonderful)
Conselheiro (Counselor)
Deus forte (Strong God)
Príncipe da paz (Prince of peace)

Emanuel (Emmanuel)

God of Promises (Deus de Promessas) - Fernandinho

Some of my favorite worship songs in Portuguese are by Fernandinho. I thought I would post the lyrics of some of my favorites that have been especially meaningful to me since arriving in Brazil for the first time.

This is one is a pretty common worship song and I am not sure who was the original composer.

Sei que os Teus olhos (I know that Your eyes)
Sempre atentos permanecem em mim (Are always attentively fixed on me)
E os Teus ouvidos (And your ears)
Estão sensíveis para ouvir meu clamor (Are sensitive to hear my cry)
Posso até chorar, mas alegria vem de manhã (I can even cry, but joy comes in the morning)
És Deus de perto e não de longe (You are a God who is close and not far away)
Nunca mudastes, Tu és fiel (You never change, You are faithful)

Deus de aliança (God of covenant)
Deus de promessas (God of promises)
Deus que não é homem pra mentir (God who is not a man that He should lie)
Tudo pode passar, tudo pode mudar (Everything can happen, everything can change)
Mas Tua palavra vai se cumprir (But Your word will be fulfilled)

Posso enfrentar o que for (I can face whatever may be)
Eu sei quem luta por mim (I know who fights for me)
Seus planos não podem ser frustados (His plans cannot be frustrated)
Minha esperança está nas mãos do Grande, eu sei (My hope is in the hands of the Great One, I know)
Meus olhos vão ver o impossível acontecer (My eyes will see the impossible take place)