Here are some more journal entries regarding things God showed me regarding my calling as a prophet, from just before leaving for DTS outreach to shortly after DTS just before flying home to visit for the holidays and raise support.
9/9/08
[At the end of my last DTS class before outreach, the guest lecturer began to turn to everyone in the class and share prophetic words with them. I had never seen anything like it, but below is my notes of what he told to me minus some of the more personal things he said, though for me the personal things established his credibility as a prophet.]
Ezekiel 47 – 4 levels of water, God wants to take me deeper, to a new level of ministry beyond what I see and know
God wants to take all timidity out of my life.
God is pleased that I truly fear Him.
6/10/08
Books / author that helped create my social consciousness:
The Next Christendom – Phil Jenkins
Confessions of an Economic Hitman
Communist Manifesto
Pedagogy of the Oppressed
Everything Must Change
Cry, the Beloved Country
Tony Campolo books
Cornel West
Cenizas de Izalco
No Me Agarran Viva
House of the Spirits
Uncle Tom’s Cabin
To Kill a Mockingbird
Ron Sider
11/10/08
Deus,
Ezekiel 47 – what was prophesied over me by Pastor Lincoln. Water comes from the temple, starts as a trickle. From south side. Flows east. Man leads me toward the east and measures water every 1000 cubits. Ankles. Knees. Loins. River that cannot be forded. Brings me back to the bank. Trees growing on both sides. Go east to Arabah? Then to sea. Waters of sea become fresh/healed. Every creature that swims wherever the two rivers go will live. Makes other waters fresh/healed. Everything lives where the river goes. Fishermen will stand beside it, place for spreading nets, fish of many kinds. Swamps and marshes will not be healed, will be given for salt.
(Water has to be moving to be fresh/healed. Water in swamps and marshes is stagnant.)
Trees for food grow next to river on both sides. Leaves will not wither and fruit will not fail. Bear every month because waters flow from sanctuary, fruit for food and leaves for healing.
I am not the water, but one who has the privilege to witness it, to be taken to where it is deep and to witness the healing it brings, turning salt to fresh, and the bearing of fruit and bringing of life to creatures.
I am also a vessel of the living water, because the Holy Spirit dwells in me, the water flows through me.
14/10/08
I Samuel 3
God calls us by name. The proper response is, “Speak, LORD, your servant is listening.”
LORD, I want to say the same to You. I am Your servant and I am ready to hear whatever You have to say to me. I want to hear and obey You because I am here to do Your will not mine.
Open my vision, LORD. I want my hopes and dreams to be overwhelmed by Your hopes and dreams – I want to be driven by Your vision, not my own.
God, sometimes I just feel so overwhelmed by the disconnect between nice, inspiring theory and the actual size of the task at hand – which seems, well, impossible. Inequality is so widespread with roots running so deep, so complex, God it seems unchangeable. But I know Your heart aches for the oppressed, LORD, that You are a God of justice and You are not pleased with the present situation. What is it that You want me to do, little-ole’-me? Speak, LORD, Your servant is listening.
For now stay at the Lighthouse to get a better understanding of inequality and to be solidary with the oppressed, to learn more about their situation and what can be done by hearing their voices, and really experiencing their kind of life.
18/10/08
LORD,
Thank you for last night, for using me to bring Your message to this church, and for once again confirming the calling – the greater calling – You have been showing me that You have for me. To be a prophet, to take Your word to Your church, to wake people up, to speak Your message to them and share Your heart with them. LORD, I know that I am not a great preacher in terms of being a charismatic speaker who riles up the congregation to rip and roar with amens, alelujas, glorias a Deus…. I certainly do not speak the most eloquent Portuguese … but the power does not come from my ability to speak, but because the message is from Your heart and carries its own weight. I am just Your mouthpiece, the vessel of Your Holy Spirit. It is You who works in the hearts of people, I am just the messenger. I don’t have to trust in my own ability, I only need to trust in You, that You will equip me to do whatever You call me to. I don’t want to be like Moses and question my ability to speak for You and make You provide another to speak for me, because things can be lost in translation. But I want to continue to depend on You and obey You, and share the messages that come from Your heart for Your people, for the renewal, edification, and building up of Your church, whether that is here in Brazil, in the US, or wherever You may take me.
Love you,
Stef
20/11/08
LORD,
I thank You for how You used Sidney tonight and his message of restored so you can restore to confirm what You spoke to me about my calling during outreach – as a prophet to wake up the church and mobilize it into action. I also thank You that You showed me that the plans You have for me in terms of that calling are so much bigger than those regarding []. But You will take care of me in the little things, too. Thank You, Father.
Love you,
Stef
21/11/08
Jeremiah 15:16-20
16Your words were found and I (AN)ate them,
And Your (AO)words became for me a joy and the delight of my heart;
For I have been (AP)called by Your name,
O LORD God of hosts.
17I (AQ)did not sit in the circle of merrymakers,
Nor did I exult
Because of Your hand upon me I sat (AR)alone,
For You (AS)filled me with indignation.
18Why has my pain been perpetual
And my (AT)wound incurable, refusing to be healed?
Will You indeed be to me (AU)like a deceptive stream
With water that is unreliable?
19Therefore, thus says the LORD,
"(AV)If you return, then I will restore you--
(AW)Before Me you will stand;
And (AX)if you extract the precious from the worthless,
You will become My spokesman.
They for their part may turn to you,
But as for you, you must not turn to them.
20"Then I will (AY)make you to this people
A fortified wall of bronze;
And though they fight against you,
They will not prevail over you;
For (AZ)I am with you to save you
And deliver you," declares the LORD.
21"So I will (BA)deliver you from the hand of the wicked,
And I will (BB)redeem you from the grasp of the violent."
LORD, regardless of how people respond to me, You are with me and that is what matters. Thank You for restoring me and calling me to be your portavoz, so that others may be restored through me.
Love you, LORD,
Stef
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