...are not so much my own. True, they made the girls in my group think I was a professional baker...I spoiled it a little by telling them I just got the recipe from the internet. But many have asked for the recipe so here is the link:
http://allrecipes.com/Recipe/Best-Chocolate-Chip-Cookies/Detail.aspx
I didn't use walnuts since I can't eat nuts, and since real chocolate chips are hard to find here, I bought big bars of semi-sweet chocolate and used a bit more than the recipe called for to make up for not using nuts. If I were to make them again, I think I would use a little less sugar/brown sugar because they are a bit sweet for my taste.
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
Traficantes: the bosses of the slum
Those involved in the drug-trade (traficantes) are a powerful presence in the slum. They are the law. They are the ones who keep the order, the ones who no one wants to mess with. Two examples from this past weekend illustrate the variety of their functions, how they enforce their power, and the relationships they have with others (including us).
The first example is quite brutal. At 9pm on Friday night, just down the street from the Lighthouse, a man was beaten to death with sticks by the traficantes. Apparently the beating was so brutal that his head was severed. One has to ask several questions as to why the traficantes took this approach, 1) to beat him so brutally when they could have just shot him or stabbed him, and 2) to do it in the middle of the street in open public view at a time where there are tons of people out and around.
From what I have heard about this man, he owed the traficantes quite a bit of money, and had fled from the favela years ago in order to get away, and came back for some reason perhaps thinking enough time had passed that they wouldn't remember. It seems, based on the time, place, and method used by the traficantes, that they wanted to send a message to others in the favela, to strike fear into them and reinforce their power and the idea that no one should mess with them.
So the traficantes do bad things, though this is an extreme example. Someone who has been living here for years commented it is the most barbaric thing they have seen or heard of happening here. Yet, in an ironic sort of way, the traficantes actually help preserve peace in the slum, as long as there is one gang in power.
What? Traficantes preserve the peace? They want to avoid anything that would invite the police into the community. So, they have a law - no stealing from anyone else in the community. If someone steals from you, who do you call? The traficantes. And there is a high likelihood of the stolen object being returned to you. Calling the police wouldn't do much of anything, so people readily turn to the traficantes, who readily provide their services knowing that it enforces their power and keeps the police out.
Weekend before last, one of our staff members had his laptop stolen out of the office by a kid who came into grab his kite and carried out the laptop along with it. Some of our staff saw the kid running off with the laptop but didn't recognize him and assumed he wasn't from the community, because usually no one in the community is stupid enough to steal from someone else within the community. The person who had the laptop stolen went out into the community with our leaders and reported the stolen laptop.
A week went by, and everyone assumed the laptop was gone for good, that someone on the outside had taken it. Then this Sunday one of the traficantes showed up at our gate, saying that they had the laptop and asked for someone to go with him to get it. One of our leaders went up with him to the boca (drug-dealing alley), where he asked someone else to go get the laptop from his house. Our leader naively began to follow this person, before the traficante motioned for him to stay back (he obviously didn't want to invite him into his house). The boy he sent returned with the laptop and the traficante had fulfilled his community police duty.
Of course the person who had the laptop stolen was happy to receive it back, not only because of the financial value, but also because of the documents saved on it. But naturally we were concerned with what happened to the 12-year-old boy who stole the laptop. We were relieved to discover that the traficantes had mercy on him, telling him that nothing would happen to him if he turned the laptop over to them. He evidently turned it over readily and the traficantes kept their word.
The slum is really a different world with its own rules and laws and the traficantes are those with the most power. It is interesting that although they do bad things (acts of violence on top of drug-dealing), they really respect those who are trying to do good for the community and especially religious workers such as missionaries. I feel like those at the Lighthouse have favor with them even though our teachings condemn many of their actions. But perhaps witnessing to the traficantes can be a key to social tranformation here in the slum. At least we know we don't have to fear them because we have no reason to.
The first example is quite brutal. At 9pm on Friday night, just down the street from the Lighthouse, a man was beaten to death with sticks by the traficantes. Apparently the beating was so brutal that his head was severed. One has to ask several questions as to why the traficantes took this approach, 1) to beat him so brutally when they could have just shot him or stabbed him, and 2) to do it in the middle of the street in open public view at a time where there are tons of people out and around.
From what I have heard about this man, he owed the traficantes quite a bit of money, and had fled from the favela years ago in order to get away, and came back for some reason perhaps thinking enough time had passed that they wouldn't remember. It seems, based on the time, place, and method used by the traficantes, that they wanted to send a message to others in the favela, to strike fear into them and reinforce their power and the idea that no one should mess with them.
So the traficantes do bad things, though this is an extreme example. Someone who has been living here for years commented it is the most barbaric thing they have seen or heard of happening here. Yet, in an ironic sort of way, the traficantes actually help preserve peace in the slum, as long as there is one gang in power.
What? Traficantes preserve the peace? They want to avoid anything that would invite the police into the community. So, they have a law - no stealing from anyone else in the community. If someone steals from you, who do you call? The traficantes. And there is a high likelihood of the stolen object being returned to you. Calling the police wouldn't do much of anything, so people readily turn to the traficantes, who readily provide their services knowing that it enforces their power and keeps the police out.
Weekend before last, one of our staff members had his laptop stolen out of the office by a kid who came into grab his kite and carried out the laptop along with it. Some of our staff saw the kid running off with the laptop but didn't recognize him and assumed he wasn't from the community, because usually no one in the community is stupid enough to steal from someone else within the community. The person who had the laptop stolen went out into the community with our leaders and reported the stolen laptop.
A week went by, and everyone assumed the laptop was gone for good, that someone on the outside had taken it. Then this Sunday one of the traficantes showed up at our gate, saying that they had the laptop and asked for someone to go with him to get it. One of our leaders went up with him to the boca (drug-dealing alley), where he asked someone else to go get the laptop from his house. Our leader naively began to follow this person, before the traficante motioned for him to stay back (he obviously didn't want to invite him into his house). The boy he sent returned with the laptop and the traficante had fulfilled his community police duty.
Of course the person who had the laptop stolen was happy to receive it back, not only because of the financial value, but also because of the documents saved on it. But naturally we were concerned with what happened to the 12-year-old boy who stole the laptop. We were relieved to discover that the traficantes had mercy on him, telling him that nothing would happen to him if he turned the laptop over to them. He evidently turned it over readily and the traficantes kept their word.
The slum is really a different world with its own rules and laws and the traficantes are those with the most power. It is interesting that although they do bad things (acts of violence on top of drug-dealing), they really respect those who are trying to do good for the community and especially religious workers such as missionaries. I feel like those at the Lighthouse have favor with them even though our teachings condemn many of their actions. But perhaps witnessing to the traficantes can be a key to social tranformation here in the slum. At least we know we don't have to fear them because we have no reason to.
Sunday, July 26, 2009
My calling as a prophet (part II)
Here are some more journal entries regarding things God showed me regarding my calling as a prophet, from just before leaving for DTS outreach to shortly after DTS just before flying home to visit for the holidays and raise support.
9/9/08
[At the end of my last DTS class before outreach, the guest lecturer began to turn to everyone in the class and share prophetic words with them. I had never seen anything like it, but below is my notes of what he told to me minus some of the more personal things he said, though for me the personal things established his credibility as a prophet.]
Ezekiel 47 – 4 levels of water, God wants to take me deeper, to a new level of ministry beyond what I see and know
God wants to take all timidity out of my life.
God is pleased that I truly fear Him.
6/10/08
Books / author that helped create my social consciousness:
The Next Christendom – Phil Jenkins
Confessions of an Economic Hitman
Communist Manifesto
Pedagogy of the Oppressed
Everything Must Change
Cry, the Beloved Country
Tony Campolo books
Cornel West
Cenizas de Izalco
No Me Agarran Viva
House of the Spirits
Uncle Tom’s Cabin
To Kill a Mockingbird
Ron Sider
11/10/08
Deus,
Ezekiel 47 – what was prophesied over me by Pastor Lincoln. Water comes from the temple, starts as a trickle. From south side. Flows east. Man leads me toward the east and measures water every 1000 cubits. Ankles. Knees. Loins. River that cannot be forded. Brings me back to the bank. Trees growing on both sides. Go east to Arabah? Then to sea. Waters of sea become fresh/healed. Every creature that swims wherever the two rivers go will live. Makes other waters fresh/healed. Everything lives where the river goes. Fishermen will stand beside it, place for spreading nets, fish of many kinds. Swamps and marshes will not be healed, will be given for salt.
(Water has to be moving to be fresh/healed. Water in swamps and marshes is stagnant.)
Trees for food grow next to river on both sides. Leaves will not wither and fruit will not fail. Bear every month because waters flow from sanctuary, fruit for food and leaves for healing.
I am not the water, but one who has the privilege to witness it, to be taken to where it is deep and to witness the healing it brings, turning salt to fresh, and the bearing of fruit and bringing of life to creatures.
I am also a vessel of the living water, because the Holy Spirit dwells in me, the water flows through me.
14/10/08
I Samuel 3
God calls us by name. The proper response is, “Speak, LORD, your servant is listening.”
LORD, I want to say the same to You. I am Your servant and I am ready to hear whatever You have to say to me. I want to hear and obey You because I am here to do Your will not mine.
Open my vision, LORD. I want my hopes and dreams to be overwhelmed by Your hopes and dreams – I want to be driven by Your vision, not my own.
God, sometimes I just feel so overwhelmed by the disconnect between nice, inspiring theory and the actual size of the task at hand – which seems, well, impossible. Inequality is so widespread with roots running so deep, so complex, God it seems unchangeable. But I know Your heart aches for the oppressed, LORD, that You are a God of justice and You are not pleased with the present situation. What is it that You want me to do, little-ole’-me? Speak, LORD, Your servant is listening.
For now stay at the Lighthouse to get a better understanding of inequality and to be solidary with the oppressed, to learn more about their situation and what can be done by hearing their voices, and really experiencing their kind of life.
18/10/08
LORD,
Thank you for last night, for using me to bring Your message to this church, and for once again confirming the calling – the greater calling – You have been showing me that You have for me. To be a prophet, to take Your word to Your church, to wake people up, to speak Your message to them and share Your heart with them. LORD, I know that I am not a great preacher in terms of being a charismatic speaker who riles up the congregation to rip and roar with amens, alelujas, glorias a Deus…. I certainly do not speak the most eloquent Portuguese … but the power does not come from my ability to speak, but because the message is from Your heart and carries its own weight. I am just Your mouthpiece, the vessel of Your Holy Spirit. It is You who works in the hearts of people, I am just the messenger. I don’t have to trust in my own ability, I only need to trust in You, that You will equip me to do whatever You call me to. I don’t want to be like Moses and question my ability to speak for You and make You provide another to speak for me, because things can be lost in translation. But I want to continue to depend on You and obey You, and share the messages that come from Your heart for Your people, for the renewal, edification, and building up of Your church, whether that is here in Brazil, in the US, or wherever You may take me.
Love you,
Stef
20/11/08
LORD,
I thank You for how You used Sidney tonight and his message of restored so you can restore to confirm what You spoke to me about my calling during outreach – as a prophet to wake up the church and mobilize it into action. I also thank You that You showed me that the plans You have for me in terms of that calling are so much bigger than those regarding []. But You will take care of me in the little things, too. Thank You, Father.
Love you,
Stef
21/11/08
Jeremiah 15:16-20
16Your words were found and I (AN)ate them,
And Your (AO)words became for me a joy and the delight of my heart;
For I have been (AP)called by Your name,
O LORD God of hosts.
17I (AQ)did not sit in the circle of merrymakers,
Nor did I exult
Because of Your hand upon me I sat (AR)alone,
For You (AS)filled me with indignation.
18Why has my pain been perpetual
And my (AT)wound incurable, refusing to be healed?
Will You indeed be to me (AU)like a deceptive stream
With water that is unreliable?
19Therefore, thus says the LORD,
"(AV)If you return, then I will restore you--
(AW)Before Me you will stand;
And (AX)if you extract the precious from the worthless,
You will become My spokesman.
They for their part may turn to you,
But as for you, you must not turn to them.
20"Then I will (AY)make you to this people
A fortified wall of bronze;
And though they fight against you,
They will not prevail over you;
For (AZ)I am with you to save you
And deliver you," declares the LORD.
21"So I will (BA)deliver you from the hand of the wicked,
And I will (BB)redeem you from the grasp of the violent."
LORD, regardless of how people respond to me, You are with me and that is what matters. Thank You for restoring me and calling me to be your portavoz, so that others may be restored through me.
Love you, LORD,
Stef
9/9/08
[At the end of my last DTS class before outreach, the guest lecturer began to turn to everyone in the class and share prophetic words with them. I had never seen anything like it, but below is my notes of what he told to me minus some of the more personal things he said, though for me the personal things established his credibility as a prophet.]
Ezekiel 47 – 4 levels of water, God wants to take me deeper, to a new level of ministry beyond what I see and know
God wants to take all timidity out of my life.
God is pleased that I truly fear Him.
6/10/08
Books / author that helped create my social consciousness:
The Next Christendom – Phil Jenkins
Confessions of an Economic Hitman
Communist Manifesto
Pedagogy of the Oppressed
Everything Must Change
Cry, the Beloved Country
Tony Campolo books
Cornel West
Cenizas de Izalco
No Me Agarran Viva
House of the Spirits
Uncle Tom’s Cabin
To Kill a Mockingbird
Ron Sider
11/10/08
Deus,
Ezekiel 47 – what was prophesied over me by Pastor Lincoln. Water comes from the temple, starts as a trickle. From south side. Flows east. Man leads me toward the east and measures water every 1000 cubits. Ankles. Knees. Loins. River that cannot be forded. Brings me back to the bank. Trees growing on both sides. Go east to Arabah? Then to sea. Waters of sea become fresh/healed. Every creature that swims wherever the two rivers go will live. Makes other waters fresh/healed. Everything lives where the river goes. Fishermen will stand beside it, place for spreading nets, fish of many kinds. Swamps and marshes will not be healed, will be given for salt.
(Water has to be moving to be fresh/healed. Water in swamps and marshes is stagnant.)
Trees for food grow next to river on both sides. Leaves will not wither and fruit will not fail. Bear every month because waters flow from sanctuary, fruit for food and leaves for healing.
I am not the water, but one who has the privilege to witness it, to be taken to where it is deep and to witness the healing it brings, turning salt to fresh, and the bearing of fruit and bringing of life to creatures.
I am also a vessel of the living water, because the Holy Spirit dwells in me, the water flows through me.
14/10/08
I Samuel 3
God calls us by name. The proper response is, “Speak, LORD, your servant is listening.”
LORD, I want to say the same to You. I am Your servant and I am ready to hear whatever You have to say to me. I want to hear and obey You because I am here to do Your will not mine.
Open my vision, LORD. I want my hopes and dreams to be overwhelmed by Your hopes and dreams – I want to be driven by Your vision, not my own.
God, sometimes I just feel so overwhelmed by the disconnect between nice, inspiring theory and the actual size of the task at hand – which seems, well, impossible. Inequality is so widespread with roots running so deep, so complex, God it seems unchangeable. But I know Your heart aches for the oppressed, LORD, that You are a God of justice and You are not pleased with the present situation. What is it that You want me to do, little-ole’-me? Speak, LORD, Your servant is listening.
For now stay at the Lighthouse to get a better understanding of inequality and to be solidary with the oppressed, to learn more about their situation and what can be done by hearing their voices, and really experiencing their kind of life.
18/10/08
LORD,
Thank you for last night, for using me to bring Your message to this church, and for once again confirming the calling – the greater calling – You have been showing me that You have for me. To be a prophet, to take Your word to Your church, to wake people up, to speak Your message to them and share Your heart with them. LORD, I know that I am not a great preacher in terms of being a charismatic speaker who riles up the congregation to rip and roar with amens, alelujas, glorias a Deus…. I certainly do not speak the most eloquent Portuguese … but the power does not come from my ability to speak, but because the message is from Your heart and carries its own weight. I am just Your mouthpiece, the vessel of Your Holy Spirit. It is You who works in the hearts of people, I am just the messenger. I don’t have to trust in my own ability, I only need to trust in You, that You will equip me to do whatever You call me to. I don’t want to be like Moses and question my ability to speak for You and make You provide another to speak for me, because things can be lost in translation. But I want to continue to depend on You and obey You, and share the messages that come from Your heart for Your people, for the renewal, edification, and building up of Your church, whether that is here in Brazil, in the US, or wherever You may take me.
Love you,
Stef
20/11/08
LORD,
I thank You for how You used Sidney tonight and his message of restored so you can restore to confirm what You spoke to me about my calling during outreach – as a prophet to wake up the church and mobilize it into action. I also thank You that You showed me that the plans You have for me in terms of that calling are so much bigger than those regarding []. But You will take care of me in the little things, too. Thank You, Father.
Love you,
Stef
21/11/08
Jeremiah 15:16-20
16Your words were found and I (AN)ate them,
And Your (AO)words became for me a joy and the delight of my heart;
For I have been (AP)called by Your name,
O LORD God of hosts.
17I (AQ)did not sit in the circle of merrymakers,
Nor did I exult
Because of Your hand upon me I sat (AR)alone,
For You (AS)filled me with indignation.
18Why has my pain been perpetual
And my (AT)wound incurable, refusing to be healed?
Will You indeed be to me (AU)like a deceptive stream
With water that is unreliable?
19Therefore, thus says the LORD,
"(AV)If you return, then I will restore you--
(AW)Before Me you will stand;
And (AX)if you extract the precious from the worthless,
You will become My spokesman.
They for their part may turn to you,
But as for you, you must not turn to them.
20"Then I will (AY)make you to this people
A fortified wall of bronze;
And though they fight against you,
They will not prevail over you;
For (AZ)I am with you to save you
And deliver you," declares the LORD.
21"So I will (BA)deliver you from the hand of the wicked,
And I will (BB)redeem you from the grasp of the violent."
LORD, regardless of how people respond to me, You are with me and that is what matters. Thank You for restoring me and calling me to be your portavoz, so that others may be restored through me.
Love you, LORD,
Stef
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
My calling as a prophet (part I)
Below are some journal entries from my first journal since arriving in Brazil (I am finishing up #5 now) pertaining to things God started to speak to me regarding my calling as a prophet. Perhaps I will post some entries from my later journals later.
19/5/08
I am a prophet
What I have learned about my calling so far since being here:
- God wants me to raise consciousness among His people who are ignorant of the role they play in contributing to oppression (rather than being repulsed/annoyed by them)
- God wants me to use my writing to raise consciousness in the body of Christ, to communicate regarding social issues and suggest roles Christians may play
31/5/08
My mission here is to seek Your Kingdom, to be solidary with the oppressed, to promote conscientização. Help me make the right steps toward fulfilling that, and finding Your specific calling for me.
31/5/08
Ezekiel 3:16-21
If I do not warn people with God’s message, to make them conscious of their wrongdoing, they will continue in sin, but if they had heard, the righteous would have responded and been cleansed from their sin. The weight is on me if I do not communicate the message. It is not for me to worry about how they respond, because the righteous will take heed. I am just the messenger, and my job is to speak the message God gives me, to point out wrongdoing and injustice so people are aware.
9/6/08
What I have learned so far regarding my gifts and calling:
- Writing – gift
o Can be used to raise consciousness, to fundraise, to spread ideas, be a voice for those who don’t have it – autora comprometida
- Calling – prophet
o Voice of those who are oppressed (portavoz)
o Raise consciousness among those who are ignorant of issues pertaining to poverty
- Listener, collector of stories, mobilizer
- Not one actually doing the work, but observing it, analyzing it, and communicating to others why it needs to be done.
- Looking for answers to questions regarding the roots of poverty – the best place to be is with the poor so I can learn their stories and begin to gain an understanding of their situation before seeking a way to improve it.
- I am not their savior, but I can fight at their side, and I must be at their side to fight at it
God, I thank you that You are putting faces on poverty and oppression, that my lofty ideals are being grounded into reality, that I am beginning to learn the practical side of things so that theory may be put into action.
Problem: training = theory with little action
practice = action with little theory
Practice needs more time for theory and training needs more time for action?
17/6/08
The oppressed have been deprived of their voices. Perhaps I can help their voices be heard as a portavoz because I can listen to their stories and share them with whatever audience I can gather through my writing.
- Through telling individual stories, I can help raise consciousness, help people see oppressed as individuals.
- Goal of email update is to help people see oppressed as individuals.
23/6/08
God,
The more I seek Your will for me, the more You speak to me and reveal to me, the more responsibility I have to obey. There is no use in hearing You if I don’t obey. I want to be a doer of Your will and not just a hearer. So as You speak to me while I am here, as I know You will, I ask that You would also be working in me and strengthening me and preparing me so that I am ready to obey when You ask me.
19/5/08
I am a prophet
What I have learned about my calling so far since being here:
- God wants me to raise consciousness among His people who are ignorant of the role they play in contributing to oppression (rather than being repulsed/annoyed by them)
- God wants me to use my writing to raise consciousness in the body of Christ, to communicate regarding social issues and suggest roles Christians may play
31/5/08
My mission here is to seek Your Kingdom, to be solidary with the oppressed, to promote conscientização. Help me make the right steps toward fulfilling that, and finding Your specific calling for me.
31/5/08
Ezekiel 3:16-21
If I do not warn people with God’s message, to make them conscious of their wrongdoing, they will continue in sin, but if they had heard, the righteous would have responded and been cleansed from their sin. The weight is on me if I do not communicate the message. It is not for me to worry about how they respond, because the righteous will take heed. I am just the messenger, and my job is to speak the message God gives me, to point out wrongdoing and injustice so people are aware.
9/6/08
What I have learned so far regarding my gifts and calling:
- Writing – gift
o Can be used to raise consciousness, to fundraise, to spread ideas, be a voice for those who don’t have it – autora comprometida
- Calling – prophet
o Voice of those who are oppressed (portavoz)
o Raise consciousness among those who are ignorant of issues pertaining to poverty
- Listener, collector of stories, mobilizer
- Not one actually doing the work, but observing it, analyzing it, and communicating to others why it needs to be done.
- Looking for answers to questions regarding the roots of poverty – the best place to be is with the poor so I can learn their stories and begin to gain an understanding of their situation before seeking a way to improve it.
- I am not their savior, but I can fight at their side, and I must be at their side to fight at it
God, I thank you that You are putting faces on poverty and oppression, that my lofty ideals are being grounded into reality, that I am beginning to learn the practical side of things so that theory may be put into action.
Problem: training = theory with little action
practice = action with little theory
Practice needs more time for theory and training needs more time for action?
17/6/08
The oppressed have been deprived of their voices. Perhaps I can help their voices be heard as a portavoz because I can listen to their stories and share them with whatever audience I can gather through my writing.
- Through telling individual stories, I can help raise consciousness, help people see oppressed as individuals.
- Goal of email update is to help people see oppressed as individuals.
23/6/08
God,
The more I seek Your will for me, the more You speak to me and reveal to me, the more responsibility I have to obey. There is no use in hearing You if I don’t obey. I want to be a doer of Your will and not just a hearer. So as You speak to me while I am here, as I know You will, I ask that You would also be working in me and strengthening me and preparing me so that I am ready to obey when You ask me.
Sunday, July 5, 2009
Lessons from the Amarelinho
The amarelinho is the little yellow bus that runs through the slum. Although the bus line has a number (103), everyone simply refers to it as the amarelinho, or "little yellow". Riding on the amarelinho is an adventure in itself, like a R$0.55 rollercoaster ride that actually gets you where you're going. Though, depending on the time of day and how off-schedule the buses are running, you will likely be standing for this ride, but don't worry, if that is the case, you will likely be packed in enough that you won't fly around much!
There are now a couple of newer amarelinho buses with a slightly new design. God has been speaking to me a lot through analogies lately, using simple, tangible examples to represent a bigger lesson. This happened the first time I got on one of these new amarelinho buses. They may look more chic, but someone seriously errored in the new design. Perhaps they thought that using slightly larger seats would make the bus ride more comfortable, but they obviously didn't consider that by making the aisle smaller, it is nearly impossible to squeeze past others standing, and given that the bus only has one door in the front to both enter and exit, that is a challenge. The seats are also staggered so there is not a straight aisle, making it challenging to get through. As I boarded this bus during the morning rush of people heading to work, I couldn't help but thinking that whoever thought of this new design had obviously never riden on the amarelinho before! A five year old kid from the slum could have come up with a more practical design!
The bigger lesson: this is what happens when people from the outside try to fix problems they know nothing about. Well-intentioned people often try to do things to help those more in need, but they can't do it apart from the input of those very people, because they are the ones who best know their own situation and they can come up with the best answers to how to address it.
I was reminded of this lesson this morning as I was reading through my old journal entries since arriving in Brazil for the first time. (I'm currently on my 5th journal since arriving - I jot down struggles, questions, lessons learned, things God speaks to me, etc. then I can look back to make sure I don't forget it and to see how much I have learned and grown.) A month or so after arriving in Brazil the first time, I wrote: "Looking for answers to questions regarding the roots of poverty - the best place to be is with the poor so I can learn their stories and begin to gain an understanding of their situation before trying to improve it." There is a kind of learning that comes from knowing people that you can't get from books. Some problems can be better understood when they are witnessed and experienced firsthand. And often the best answers and solutions come from those most familiar with the problems.
There are now a couple of newer amarelinho buses with a slightly new design. God has been speaking to me a lot through analogies lately, using simple, tangible examples to represent a bigger lesson. This happened the first time I got on one of these new amarelinho buses. They may look more chic, but someone seriously errored in the new design. Perhaps they thought that using slightly larger seats would make the bus ride more comfortable, but they obviously didn't consider that by making the aisle smaller, it is nearly impossible to squeeze past others standing, and given that the bus only has one door in the front to both enter and exit, that is a challenge. The seats are also staggered so there is not a straight aisle, making it challenging to get through. As I boarded this bus during the morning rush of people heading to work, I couldn't help but thinking that whoever thought of this new design had obviously never riden on the amarelinho before! A five year old kid from the slum could have come up with a more practical design!
The bigger lesson: this is what happens when people from the outside try to fix problems they know nothing about. Well-intentioned people often try to do things to help those more in need, but they can't do it apart from the input of those very people, because they are the ones who best know their own situation and they can come up with the best answers to how to address it.
I was reminded of this lesson this morning as I was reading through my old journal entries since arriving in Brazil for the first time. (I'm currently on my 5th journal since arriving - I jot down struggles, questions, lessons learned, things God speaks to me, etc. then I can look back to make sure I don't forget it and to see how much I have learned and grown.) A month or so after arriving in Brazil the first time, I wrote: "Looking for answers to questions regarding the roots of poverty - the best place to be is with the poor so I can learn their stories and begin to gain an understanding of their situation before trying to improve it." There is a kind of learning that comes from knowing people that you can't get from books. Some problems can be better understood when they are witnessed and experienced firsthand. And often the best answers and solutions come from those most familiar with the problems.
Sunday, June 21, 2009
Random thoughts
This is probably about as random as they get since it is 12:30am, and I am wide awake since I went to bed "to pray" at 7:30pm and got quite a bit of "prayer sleep".
Yesterday we had an "impacto" here in the slum, an interchurch event that took place in the Cafezal plaza up the hill, near the health post. It was great to see the pastors from different churches working together to lead this rather unstructured, Spirit-led preaching/worship service in the middle of the public park.
I made chocolate chip cookies again this weekend...I seem to have more friends everyday. ;)
God doesn't tell us things just for the sake of telling us - He always has a purpose in what He tells us, He tells us what we need to know.
I'm in the process of asking God why He has told me some of the things that He has told me, what He wants me to do with that information.
Sometimes He tells us things just so we can pray about them, sometimes because we need to tell someone else, or sometimes because we need to do something about what He told us.
I miss carpet, the way it feels to walk on it barefoot.
Brazilians don't really say brrrrrrrrrrrrrr when they are cold, and now that the winter months are rolling in, I catch myself naturally saying it, sometimes rather loud...I must look kind of crazy. I have surveyed the other foreigners to make sure it is not just an American expression, and have found that Dutch and German people say brrrrr but with a heavy roll on the R but English people say brrr like I do, more like "bur" with no R roll.
I'm almost done reading Rich Christians in an Age of Hunger by Ron Sider. I highly recommend it. It is re-inspiring me in my vision and big-picture calling, but also personally challenging me in some areas.
Sometimes I wake up thinking in Portuguese now...
Agora eu sei como trocar o idioma de meu teclado então dá para digitar em português se eu quiser. Tambêm agora sei como escrever melhor por causa de meu curso de português.
It's hard to talk/write in Spanish now because it is so similar to Porgutuese, I need to train myself to switch better.
One girl from my group who was really starting to show improvement was suddenly taken by the police to live with her mom on the other side of the city, due to her father abusing them. I hope she's doing okay, though I have heard the man living with her mom is abusive as well. We're sad we can't work with this girl any more...she was so closed at the beginning of the year that she would never talk and if we tried to talk with her personally, she would turn her head, shut down completely, and never look us in the eye. Just before being taken away, she had come so far that she was participating in all of the activities, enjoying herself, trying to write whenever we do written work (she doesn't know how or has some disability), and not only able to talk to us and look us in the eye, but also courageous enough to stay after to talk to us about some struggles she was having with other girls in the group. This girl and her siblings are so precious but have been through so much...I really feel God's heart for them.
Okay...I'm going back to bed now.
Yesterday we had an "impacto" here in the slum, an interchurch event that took place in the Cafezal plaza up the hill, near the health post. It was great to see the pastors from different churches working together to lead this rather unstructured, Spirit-led preaching/worship service in the middle of the public park.
I made chocolate chip cookies again this weekend...I seem to have more friends everyday. ;)
God doesn't tell us things just for the sake of telling us - He always has a purpose in what He tells us, He tells us what we need to know.
I'm in the process of asking God why He has told me some of the things that He has told me, what He wants me to do with that information.
Sometimes He tells us things just so we can pray about them, sometimes because we need to tell someone else, or sometimes because we need to do something about what He told us.
I miss carpet, the way it feels to walk on it barefoot.
Brazilians don't really say brrrrrrrrrrrrrr when they are cold, and now that the winter months are rolling in, I catch myself naturally saying it, sometimes rather loud...I must look kind of crazy. I have surveyed the other foreigners to make sure it is not just an American expression, and have found that Dutch and German people say brrrrr but with a heavy roll on the R but English people say brrr like I do, more like "bur" with no R roll.
I'm almost done reading Rich Christians in an Age of Hunger by Ron Sider. I highly recommend it. It is re-inspiring me in my vision and big-picture calling, but also personally challenging me in some areas.
Sometimes I wake up thinking in Portuguese now...
Agora eu sei como trocar o idioma de meu teclado então dá para digitar em português se eu quiser. Tambêm agora sei como escrever melhor por causa de meu curso de português.
It's hard to talk/write in Spanish now because it is so similar to Porgutuese, I need to train myself to switch better.
One girl from my group who was really starting to show improvement was suddenly taken by the police to live with her mom on the other side of the city, due to her father abusing them. I hope she's doing okay, though I have heard the man living with her mom is abusive as well. We're sad we can't work with this girl any more...she was so closed at the beginning of the year that she would never talk and if we tried to talk with her personally, she would turn her head, shut down completely, and never look us in the eye. Just before being taken away, she had come so far that she was participating in all of the activities, enjoying herself, trying to write whenever we do written work (she doesn't know how or has some disability), and not only able to talk to us and look us in the eye, but also courageous enough to stay after to talk to us about some struggles she was having with other girls in the group. This girl and her siblings are so precious but have been through so much...I really feel God's heart for them.
Okay...I'm going back to bed now.
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
Lessons from Chocolate Chip Cookies
Some of you may remember reading a blog I wrote just over a year ago regarding my first attempt to make chocolate chip cookies here in Brazil during my time as a volunteer at the girls’ house. Basically I struggled to find some of the ingredients and accidentally ended up using yeast rather than baking soda, and it didn’t come out looking anything like normal cookies (but the girls still ate it). Since then I have not been brave enough to try baking much of anything here in Brazil, but this week I decided to give chocolate chip cookies another try as I learned the proper words for all of the ingredients and I wanted to make something special to serve at the 15th birthday party of one of the girls in my group. I still faced the challenge of a gas oven with no temperature gauge and a few improvisations in terms of ingredients, yet by some miracle they turned out absolutely perfect! I still wasn’t sure what the girls would think of them as chocolate chip cookies basically don’t exist here. To my surprise, when the girls tried them, they were shocked that I had made them because they thought they were professionally made. They asked for the recipe and even though I told them I just got it off of the internet, they determined my cooking was good enough that I can get married. (Here in Brazil it is normal to tell a single woman she can get married if her food is good – I like to say the same to single men to single things out a bit.)
After the birthday party was over and the four dozen cookies had been consumed in a matter of minutes, God used this experience to speak to me about my own progress since first arriving here in Brazil. When I first got here, I didn’t know hardly anything about the language, how to find my way around the city, where to buy things, how to cook, clean, and use appliances, etc. But after a year, this is really my home now. I know how to get around the city without getting lost (most of the time!), I know how to speak the language well, I know how to use so many things that were very foreign to me at first. Something that I failed at a year ago, I not only succeeded but excelled at now! Although there are still challenges with living here and navigating in a foreign culture, I have come a really long way in the past year and am now capable of mastering things I was completely clueless regarding before.
After the birthday party was over and the four dozen cookies had been consumed in a matter of minutes, God used this experience to speak to me about my own progress since first arriving here in Brazil. When I first got here, I didn’t know hardly anything about the language, how to find my way around the city, where to buy things, how to cook, clean, and use appliances, etc. But after a year, this is really my home now. I know how to get around the city without getting lost (most of the time!), I know how to speak the language well, I know how to use so many things that were very foreign to me at first. Something that I failed at a year ago, I not only succeeded but excelled at now! Although there are still challenges with living here and navigating in a foreign culture, I have come a really long way in the past year and am now capable of mastering things I was completely clueless regarding before.
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